I Love Being The Bitch That I Am
So I don’t think I have mentioned yet on this blog what my latest critic had to say in regards to Sarahahall.Com
Yes, I have critics! I suppose you can’t have fans without having critics. Sarahahall.Com is not for everyone. You are all entitled to your opinion as am I.
But this one critic I happen to want to take his criticism as a complement more than as negative press. He said and I quote that my blog is “provacative, profanity-laced and filled with sexual innuendos.”
Yes, it is. I do not deny it and I kind of pride myself on it. It is NOT everyday that someone has the guts to write what I do and to do so in the manner that I do.
So I shall take your words as a complement Mr. Stevenson.
On a lighter note – one of my fans posted the following video to facebook today and said it reminded him of me. I felt flattered and loved!!
Great video and song – watch it!
#FWF Free Write Friday: Keepsakes
I haven’t done a Free Write Friday post since August I think! I know I am horrible when it comes to keeping up with series, but I liked today’s prompt and decided to do it. So here goes! Enjoy!
Free writing — also called stream-of-consciousness writing — is a prewriting technique in which a person writes continuously for a set period of time without regard to spelling, or grammar. It produces raw, often unusable material, but helps writers overcome blocks of apathy and self-criticism. It is used mainly by prose writers and writing teachers. Some writers use the technique to collect initial thoughts and ideas on a topic, often as a preliminary to formal writing. Each Friday Kellie Elmore posts a prompt for everyone to write off of. Check out the site to see all prompts and start Free Write Friday your own.
Here is Today’s Prompt: 
I think we all have that one special item we cherish. Something gifted to us by someone we love, someone who has passed, someone we want to remember. A locket from a friend, a ring from your grandmother, a watch from your father…or maybe it is simply a memory, a moment in time that we will never forget. Write about your special keepsake…
The thing most cherishable to me has always been my journals. I know it sounds weird, but I have never had that special “thing” like an necklace or a ring (well I suppose my wedding ring would count) that has held as much value to me as my journal. Before the wonderful invention of SkyDrive (where I know keep all my old journals backed up to) I always use to say that if there was ever a fire the one thing I’d grab (besides family and pets of course) would be the external harddrive to my computer. Well over the years I have found external harddrives not very reliable and therefor was so happy when they invited Cloud Technology!
My journals represent my memories. They document my life. Not all my journals get posted publicly on this site. Yes, I am admitting it right here and now – I do still have some private journals hidden away from view. But private or public – they represent me. They are my memories frozen in time.
They are my special keepsakes …
Project 365: To Not Give Up
So seven days into 2013 and I have not followed through with blogging every day and I supposed that’s okay. I feel like I have hit a cross road when it comes to this website. Blogging and writing is not something I’m going to give up anytime soon, but I have hit a cross road on where I want to take this blog. Let’s be honest for one moment and acknowledge the fact that I started Sarahmarkham.com (what this site was formally called until I got married) for the soul purpose of writing a story. I can sit here and lie to all of you that I started the website to document my life in college and my life thereafter and so forth and so forth but the truth – that’s a bunch of bullshit. I started it to write the story of Affair of the Mind, and now that Affair of the Mind is done in real time (not so much in story book time) – I don’t know what to do with my place on the world wide web. I’m not the dramatic girl who has secrets, lies and a fucked up story to tell any more. I don’t hang out with Jared anymore (hell I don’t hang out with ANYBODY anymore from that part of the novel). I’m not Ann Mathews. I’m Sarah and I don’t know what to do about that.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t know where I want to take this blog. So bare with me while I figure that out. Of course it’ll still be a documentation of my life, but do I want to do more political stuff? Do I want to be a designer? Do I want to get involved in the little “blogging” followings and advertisement stuff? What do I want to do with this site?
One thing I do know – I WANT TO UPDATE/CHANGE MY PHOTO GALLERIES!! I started to use Nextgen Gallery for WordPress but it is just not working for me. So I think I am going to go with WordPress’s built in photo thing. But either way – expect major changes coming to the Photo section.
I also want to start a new Writing series. I am still going to finish Affair of the Mind – we didn’t spend YEARS making it up to NOT finish it!! But I want to start a new series that really has NOTHING WHAT SO EVER to do with Justin Lenox (no offense).
So it’s a new year and I plan on working on a new website layout this weekend. So many changes coming – not sure what yet but changes.
And I promise – I’ll try to keep up with the Project 365 of posting once a day!
Love ya all,
Read MoreTaking My Blog Back: The Challenge
I have seen on various blogs around the internet this thing called “Taking My Blog Back: Challenge.” It seems I am not the only one who feels that my blog and website overall is not what it used to be.
In re-posting all my old blogs to the Archives, I am able to see how I use to write in my blog vs how I write now. I think I am focusing too much on doing ‘routine’ blogs and on getting my stats up then on focusing on why I started blogging in the first place. The reason I started blogging in the first place was to document my life. Whether it was through photos, videos or the written word, the entire point of SarahAHall.Com (formally known as SarahMarkham.Com) was and always has been to document. This website was MY legacy to the world. It’s what I would leave behind for my children and generations to be able to go back and read over. They could see what their Grandmother did on August 7th of 2012 and how much of a dork she really was. That’s WHY I started blogging. Before the whole Jared and Affair of the Mind Story, it was about a documentary of my life. That’s what it was about and what it should be about.
I mentioned on Facebook that I wasn’t going to re-open ALL the Archives. I have decided not to do the Ann Mathews vs Sarah Hall Archives. The Ann Mathews blogs will still be there privately so those with my password can one day go back and re-read the truth to AOTM, but the Ann Mathews blogs should stay hidden and remain with the story only. I don’t think the world is ready for the truth and they may never be which is perfectly fine with me.
SarahAHall.Com is a documentation of my life. So I will re-open all old photos, videos and most of the blogs that were once written by Sarah Markham (not the Ann Mathew’s blogs). It’s a work in process and going to take time but eventually this website will be a complete documentation of my life. Which was the point of why I started a website/blog back when I first got the internet (before it was cool).
With that said, I want to focus this website back onto blogging. I want to focus it back onto documenting my life on a website. I’ll still do my Photo of the Days, Free Write Friday every once in a while and a few ‘routine’ blogs, but if I truly want my Grandchildren to one day be able to come here and read what I did on August 7th of 2012, I need to start writing it down.
However I supposed if I plan on having Grandchildren one day, I should probably start on having the child first. : )
Write more laterz,
Happy New Year
Well NOT really … but I have TOTALLY failed on my New Year Resolutions for this blog. I kind of sort of feel like I have given up!!
And USUALLY I do say fuck it until a new year … but it’s July 16th, 2012!! That CAN be the starting point of a NEW year for this blog! New year! New changes!!!
So Happy New Year!!
Here are my plans for this ‘new year’ in regards to this blog:
- Bring back A Photo A Day
- Continue with my “Funny Conversations of Ann & Justin” (cause they are funny) – maybe I’ll make it a weekly series
- Create art work for all my weekly series
- Continue back up again with FWF
- Do #VEDA in August
- Post more recipes
- Get my Photo Gallery up to date (that’ll be a project)
Let’s stop there. I don’t wanna get to overwhelmed in this New Year.
Alright laterz,
The Turtle In The Rain
Blogging use to come easily to me. The thought of having an anonymous blog that wasn’t attached to my name was never a thought that would have crossed my mind. Lately though I have found myself afraid to blog. I don’t really know why. But I feel like I have done the complete opposite of what everyone else has done. Most people start out anonymous and then go public where as I feel I started public and now am secluding me into what others started out doing.
Blogging use to be my outlet. It’s what got me through the day, and I really don’t want to lose that. Maybe I’m not as open as I use to be, but from what I have read from other blogs: everyone goes through this “blogging blah” phase. So maybe that’s all this is: it’s just a phase.
So it rained this AM in Havasu. It was supposed to rain all day, but like usual the storm clouds have gone away and it looks like it’ll be a nice, warm, sunny day out.
So it was pouring rain when I left for work and I walked out of the house, locked the door behind me and THEN realized I left my car keys and house keys IN the house and had my work keys in my hand! Oya! So I had to run in the pouring rain (and I don’t run may I add so it was more like power walk) to the front of the house from the back and bang on the window to our bedroom to wake Cory up. Ringing the door bell was pointless because he’s deaf. Lol! He woke up and opened the door for me. I was drenched in rain! Oya!
I was having a good hair day too but now I think I’ll have to take a shower when I get home before we go out tonight because the rain totally screwed up my hair. Good thing is that if it doesn’t rain our plans of going to the Turtle Bar are still on. If it does rain later – we’ll have to pick a new spot.
Anyway write more laterz!
I Can’t Take Back The Words I Never Said
I was reading a blog today from a girl who was saying how easy it was to blog anonymously, and that now that she has attached her name to her blog blogging doesn’t seem to come easy anymore.
It’s weird: I use to blog about everything and I posted my name to it. In fact, I was proud of the fact I had a website that was my life 24/7 and my full, real name was attached to it. But I sit here now and I feel like the girl who has always had her blog anonymous and all of a sudden is attaching her name to it.
Always in a rush
Never stay on the phone long enough
Why am I so self-important?
Said I’d see you soon
But that was, oh, maybe a year ago
Didn’t know time was of the essence
My website use to be sarahmarkham.com until I got married. Maybe I’ve just been resistant to attach that reputation to my new name. Maybe I don’t want Sarah A Hall to be known as the girl who blogs, doesn’t give a damn, and writes her entire life on the internet for the whole world to see.
So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more
It’s kind of like An Affair of the Mind. I found myself writing the Promo and Spoiler to After the Affair today. I know: I haven’t even finished AOTM and I’m writing the sequel? Well that doesn’t make ANY sense now does it!
But maybe it does. Why did I start writing AOTM? To tell the truth or to get back at Justin? If we’re going to be honest: it was all about revenge. Tell the truth and hope one person in this world believes me. Right? That’d be the ultimate revenge.
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said
Always talking shit
Took your advice and did the opposite
Just being young and stupid
I haven’t been all that you could’ve hoped for
But if you’d held on a little longer
You’d have had more reasons to be proud
But it’s the year 2012. THE YEAR THIS BOOK WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COMPLETED! God! We had PLANS!! We had this HUGE AOTM Revealing we were going to do in May. We even had a video, but it’s now July and there was no big revealing, no video released and well the Part 1 is still a handful of chapters from being done.
It’s the year 2012. Maybe I don’t want revenge anymore. I found myself saying the other day ‘I don’t want them to hate him because I don’t.’ I don’t hate him. For anyone to understand why there’s An After the Affair, you can’t hate him. But you HAVE to hate him! I hated him! I wanted revenge which was the ENTIRE point of the first book release. Ugh!!!
So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words
I feel like I’m torn between this girl who I use to be and the girl I find myself being now. Torn between sarahmarkham.com and sarahahall.com. Torn between Ann Mathews and Sarah Markham-Hall. Torn between hating him and calling him my best friend. Torn between … everything.
The longer I stand here
The louder the silence
I know that you’re gone but sometimes I swear that I hear
Your voice when the wind blows
So I talk to the shadows
Hoping you might be listening ‘cos I want you to know
I had this weird dream the other night which promoted the entire reason for me to write the Spoiler to After the Affair. After I woke up I had this urge to find the mp3 of the Skylar Grey “Love the Way You Lie” song. I ended up downloading the album of hers which had the song on it along with two others. One song was called “words.”
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said
Never said
I can’t take back the words I never said
Maybe things do happen for a reason … because I don’t find it coincidence that I had the dream and then heard that song.
I Need Sponsors & Bloggers & Website People!
I am new to the blogging community (well okay I am NOT NEW!! I have been blogging since 2002 before it was EVEN popular to blog! I am just new to the “community.” It’s like you’ve always been gay but you just NOW decided to come out. Yeah it’s LIKE that) and need to meet NEW and AMAZING people!
So I am looking for someone to help me out!!! Is anyone interested!!
I also am trying to put my business out there! I will give ANYONE who mentions this post 25% off a design job from my Design Services!!
Anyone interested!??
Let me know
I desperately NEED your help!
Not So Cokey & Lovey This Week
I have decided that I am king of tired of doing my Coke & Love Series. It’s not that I don’t like doing it. I’m just tired of doing it. Shouldn’t I be updating everyday about my not so exciting life for you all to read instead of once a week with a “weekly” not so popular series? I think so. It’s how it used to be and people seemed to like the out there, in your face, not so edited version of ME and well I kind of liked that too. So maybe we should get back to business. Let’s get back to me being here for “your entertainment” purposes (yes I am STILL in love with Adam Lambert) because let’s face it my blog lately has been kind of boring and if I EVER EVER want to be ANYTHING like the amazing Bloggess then I need a not-so-boring blog that only posts “weekly” series and yada yada yada boring boring boring.
So with that said (yes I really do envision the day when my blog hits 1-2 million viewers and not because I write tutorials or boring crap either but because I write controversy and maybe even throw a little bit of sex advice in every once in a while – we can’t all forget the “sex column” that got Kelly and I pretty much thrown out of Rainbow River Pride which started the Havasu LGBT group in the first place – now can we?) here is the weekly (try not to make it so boring) recap of my week thus far (I mean technically it’s NOT over yet).
Friday (yes I have decided to go ALL the way back to Friday!) $180 was spent on two tires for the boat trailer. We spent $180 for two tires to be able to get the boat from Shawna’s place to our place which is probably less than five miles. But all in all – it was SOOOOO worth it! I know I haven’t seemed as excited as I should lately about the purchase of our boat, but I am truly happy about it! My mood lately mainly is because all I have seemed to be doing lately is sitting here bitching, moaning and groaning about money. In fact, I spent the ENTIRE weekend sad and depressed because I looked at our budget and thought we didn’t have enough $$ for the bills. Well turns out the excel spreadsheet we use to do our budget had a formula wrong in it somewhere between this month and October’s budget. I re-did the ENTIRE budget on Monday and turns out we’ll be okay. See the problem lies in the fact that in July we have to start paying for Cory’s insurance. I know the damn state of Arizona decided NOT to pay for insurance for people who don’t have children! Damn stupid state of Arizona … damn … oh wait! That was the Republicans who did that huh? Hehe! Oh never mind – either way – point being we now have to pay for it which is fine! We have the money! Anyway, so I may have been sad, depressed and mopping all weekend over a stupid formula that wasn’t even correct to begin with! I hope no one took it personal!
Anyway I am kind of bummed we don’t have the $$ to fix the boat up this summer, but whatever! We have a boat and by next summer – even if I have to sell my right arm (wouldn’t sell my leg because then I couldn’t get INTO the boat) – we will be out there on the lake, getting a sun tan, drinking some beer (well not me – I’ll stick to Diet Mt. Dew or Ice Tea), and driving all over this lake! You know I have lived in Lake Havasu since I was 9 (except for those three years I was in Tucson but I do try to forget those times) and I have NEVER really truly toured the lake. So next summer – I’m going to add that to my “to do” list.
So anyway – we got the boat! We spent Saturday SOMEWHAT cleaning it!! SOMEWHAT! I mean there is a LOT that needs to be done. Like the boat needs deep cleaned, new carpet and in my opinion a new paint job but we got it wet is the point.
Sunday – let’s not discuss Sunday.
Monday I went back to work!! After TWO WHOLE DAYS OFF, back to work I went. Now don’t expect me to write too much about work on this here blog. 1) I don’t want the pleasure of being mentioned in Mohave County Folks facebook page. Those damn right wing nut jobs are what give the Republicans a bad name and the County too and 2) I honestly on some days really have nothing to report.
Tuesday … what happened on Tuesday? Hmmm …. I supposed not much seeing that I can’t even remember Tuesday and it’s ONLY Thursday.
Wednesday – ah Cory decided to bring home a BIG HUGE ASS crate (and when I say crate I mean crate) of strawberries and tomatoes. Okay we ended up throwing half the strawberries away (now mind you these crates were free! We didn’t pay for them) because they were bad but what in the world am I to do with a huge ass crate of tomatoes! I DON’T EVEN LIKE TOMATOES!!! Oya! But whatever – I supposed I can make pasta sauce with them.
Today I went down to the Nautical to take pics of the boss and got a very educational update on the Horizon Six Flood Project. It’s actually very interesting! I never realized Havasu was sitting right under a water basin like that! Crazy!
Anyway so lots planned for the month of May! This weekend is Cinco De Mayo and I am making homemade chicken enchiladas. Next weekend is not only Terry’s Bday Party but Mother’s Day! The following weekend is our Housewarming Party and then of course Memorial Day Weekend in which I am trying to talk the parents and husband into going to the Hoover Damn. We shall see about that.
Anyway – see wasn’t this SO much more fun than boring old Coke and Love! I think so! However I do think the post needed more pictures and maybe even a video or two added in. Hmmm! Oh well – there is ALWAYS next time!
Love you all bunches!!
Ps – I am ONLY like 999,999,980 views away from my 1-2 million mark! : )
20,000 Billion Ideas
“Why did you start Sarahmarkham.com in 2005?” – J
“To tell a story.” – S
“So you must decide what’s more important making money off of it or telling your story.” – J
I have 20,000 billion ideas that run through my head on a daily basis. Most of those ideas never get put to paper. They use to. Hence how most of Part 2 of Affair of the Mind came to be, but for the most part now a day those 20,000 billion ideas that run through my head on a daily basis get no further than the inside of my brain.
I happen to think I am a rather creative person. Not creative as in the since of I can create art from a pen or I can draw a masterpiece. No! Not one bit. I couldn’t draw a stick figure to save my life. But creative as in – I’m good at making up a story. Or I use to be anyway. I use to be the mastermind of manipulation and putting stories together to make people believe they were true. I guess one could call me a rather good liar. Or so I thought I was anyway. I mean who honestly believed the story of Jared being an FBI agent and Jason going to prison for attempted murder? Eh, okay not many but hey it did make a good story line didn’t it?
I think deep down I am still that same girl who made up all those stories and opened Sarahmarkham.com in 2005 for the soul purpose to tell Part 1 of AOTM. But it’s not 2005 anymore. I couldn’t even come up with a good enough story line to tell my parents why we got rid of Batty (Cory and I did finally tell them yesterday). I know – why tell a story when I could have just told the truth. I don’t know. Sometimes coming up with an elaborate over the top story is far better than telling the simple truth. Hence 2003 and Michael Hart.
Alright I know you are all wondering what’s my point – yeah I’m getting to it. My point is I didn’t start this blog to make money. Sure it’ll be nice if someone one day actually wants to pay to advertise on Sarahahall.com but that’s not the point of this website. The point of it is STILL the same as it was in 2005 – I’m here to tell you MY story whether you believe me or not.
A lot has changed since then, the characters of my story are no longer the same people they use to be, and even the story line is completely different – but it’s still MY story to tell the way I WANT to tell it!
“So do we want to one day make billions of dollars off of Affair of the Mind or do we want to just put it out there, cross our fingers and let it be?” – J
“This story was never about making money. It was about the truth, and I know both of us have ended up on different sides of what the truth is but I think we can both agree on one thing – I never was in it for the money.” – S
“Oh Ms. Mathews we all know you never wanted the money.” – J
I have 20,000 billion ideas going through my head on a daily basis – and one of those ideas is to release the Diaries of Ann Mathews and publicly publish Affair of the Mind.
“So why don’t we just cross our fingers and let it be. After all we wouldn’t me Ann and Justin if we didn’t do something as crazy as that.” – S
20,000 billion ideas – and I’m slowly starting to write them down. Because if you leave them all in your head for too long – they eventually start talking to you and well that makes you crazier than the girl who actually wrote Affair of the Mind.
AKA: Ann Mathews
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My First Time … EVER!!!
So Cassie over at Live Laugh LOve linked up today with
And I thought it was a cute, neat little idea! So I have decided to link up as well!
Now my first time “blogging” was back in 2002 before the term “blogging” ever existed. Granted all my prior posts have been taken down and put under an encrypted password protected folder on my website, but at one point in time those old blogs were the talk of Lake Havasu (or so I have been told).
I started “blogging” on my very own Geocities site back in July of 2002. I wanted a place to call home and I for one reason or another wanted the “world wide web” to read my every thought and desire. I guess I started my own blog and website back before it was “popular” to do so because back then people thought I was crazy.
Anyway my very first post was written during the summer between my 9th grade and 10th grade year.
A little background on the blog: Mike was one of my best friends/x boyfriends who during the middle of our Freshman year in high school decided to up and go live with his mother in Georgia. Mike was “bisexual” but me and him always argued over if homosexuality was a sin or not. See Mike came from a Christian home and being gay was considered “wrong.” His mother found out he was in homosexual relationships and asked him to move back in with her (his parents were divorced and he was living in Havasu with his dad when I met him in 8th grade) so she could help “de-gay” him. So he moved back. He came back to visit me the following summer which is when he told me not only was his mom “de-gaying” him but that he was HIV+. And that my friends is how my Sophomore year in high school started and the VERY beginning of my novel Affair of the Mind.
Here’s my VERY FIRST EVER blog posting from July 17th, 2002!
Dear Diary, Wednesday, July 17, 2002
Well I just got back from therapy a couple hours of go. I think I am doing quite good in therapy. I still got a limp but in time it’ll go away. I talked to Mike today. We worked things out. I still think he’s selfish in ways, but he’s Mike. No matter how hard you want to change him you can’t. Cause he’s Mike and only MIKE can change him. I still care and I will continue to care about him but I can’t help him unless he asks for it and that’s something I need to realize. I have said mean and harsh things to him (In my mind I am just saying em to help him ) but I know it hurts him when I say these things. I have apologized and I hope he knows that I love him. I just want to make sure he is ok and that his future is HIS future not somebody elses or a deadly disease. So Mike if you ever read this I want you to know I love you and I never mean to hurt you. Anyway I am looking to go see the big SPIDER movie Friday with me other friend, Brooke. ( 8 Legged Freaks ) I have this obsession with spiders. I wanted a pet spider at one points but I never got one. Well anyway I’ll write more at a later date. So until then BiBiBi
- Sarah ( The spider freak!)
Ah the memories! : )
Coke & Love – v.3
It’s Coke & Love time again. It’s based off of Wine and Love hosted by Nora! But because I really don’t like wine – I am calling it “Coke & Love” because I am addicted to Diet Coke. It’s where you share your weekly wines (or beer, liquor, soda- whatever your beverage preference is) and then your loves since last Thursday.
If you want to participate in Wine and Love (or whatever else you feel like calling it) you can link up to the series on Nora’s site.
Things Making Me Reach For My Bottle of Diet Coke …
The weather!! It has been extra cold it seems this week. I want my warm weather back! I found all these cute summer/spring clothes while cleaning out Debbie’s house the other day and granted I am wearing them with sweaters and whatnot but they’d look SO much cuter without the jackets/sweaters!!
So I am trying to have a new outlook on things. My raise that was supposed to go through on tomorrow’s check won’t get put on until next pay check. There was a “technical/paper work” glitch we’ll say. So anyway I’ll get the $$ I was supposed to get this pay check on the next one because of it. So we have to put off the dog’s doctor appointment until the 6th because we just can’t afford it without that raise. I could get all pissed off about it but I have decided not too. Life happens. I’ll have the extra $$ next check for the dog. It’s ok. Nothing I can do about it. So although this is a ‘wine’ I am trying not to get too worked up over it. Like I said – life happens!
Things That I’m Loving This Week …
American Idol started this week! I haven’t watched it yet. It’s still sitting in my DVR but I will!! But the point is that it started to Idol Commentary shall return!
Blogging & my website! I started work on the Forgotten Reviews post I intend to release in April to the new members only section of my site!! : )
I got some new stuff but only because Brooke turned over all her stuff to Debbie when she left (I will be nice and give her mom some of the stuff I feel is ‘personal’ and should be returned). Dusty & Tina are coming the first week in February so we cleaned out Brooke’s room & the rest of the house. Debbie found some cute PJs to give me. A little baggy but they are comfy.
Adam Lambert was on Jay Leno & Ellen this week! Ahhh! I <3!!
It was a 4 day work week this week due to Martin Luther King Jr day!! 4 day work weeks are always a plus!
My boss announced his bid for re-election! That’s always a good thing because if he wins – I still have a job!! So let’s make sure he wins! Go District 3 Supervisor! : )
What are your wines and loves of the week?
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Another Day of Packing
So Cory went to his moms again today and packed up some more stuff. I went over there after work and saw the progress. They got pretty far. They should be done tomorrow.
I snapped a pic of Cory and the two dogs
So cute.
So I’m not going to the Vegas blogging convention this year. I’ll have to wait till 2013. Registration is $500 but it does include hotel and meals for 4 days so it’s not that bad. But can’t afford it this year so I’ll make it a point to be able to afford it next year.
Well gonnna go watch tv.
Have a good night my peeps!!!
It’s Officially Election Time
And you know what that means? It means I AM BACK!!!
Oh wait … according to the County Manager blogs are used for nothing less than conspiracy rants. As put by him in a letter written to a constituent/Supervisor Candidate:
I rarely respond to the conspiracy rants In the blogs. The opinions and beliefs of bloggers are most
likely gathered second hand and without any examination of the facts: They are a lot like
trash talk radio. They may serve to entertain some folks, but one should rarely take them
for reality. We are accustomed to this behavior in a blog
Okay I admit! Most of the time my blog is meant for your entertainment. I mean my old website’s motto was “I am here for your Entertainment” and for the most part it does stand true. However, unlike others I do research the issues before I write a blog! I spent hours yesterday trying to find out how much the state was in debt. I didn’t just pull the numbers out of my ass. So I do take offense to the fact you say I am uneducated in a since and gather my facts second handed. Oh and yes at times my blog is filled with useless rants but conspiracy? Never!
That aside though, I agree with you. Yes shocking isn’t it? A blogger agrees with the County Manager and not the rest of the psycho nut bloggers/Supervisor candidates out there!
So was he right in writing the letter he wrote on county time and on county letterhead? No! He should have done it on his own time and his own letter head. My advice to the County Manager is he should get a blog. He’s rather good at it and not all blogging is “conspiracy” and uneducated rants. However, it is the United States of America. And I love the first amendment and the fact we in the United States have freedom of speech. So with that said – you do whatever you see fit.
Now with ALL of that aside -
It’s Election Time! Which not only means Sarah’s Not So Politically Correct Rants are back! It also means that everyone and their mother is going to come out of the wood work.
There are officially 14 Supervisor Candidates running for the new District 4 spot and around 8 running for the new District 5 spot. I find it funny that nearly 80% of those who spoke at today’s Board of Supervisors meeting in Kingman have NEVER spoken before until they officially announced they were running for Supervisor. Ironic isn’t it? The only person I have seen before who spoke was Denise Bensusan. The rest of you I ask – where were you a year ago? Two years ago? Six months ago? Ironic you come out and speak DURING election time! I highly doubt that a lot of you would have even cared about the Library Annex lease had it not been for the fact you are running for the job of County Supervisor.
As for the lease itself, the building is 2400 square feet @ $1920 a month. 2400 square feet! I couldn’t get an apartment at 2400 square feet for that amount of money. I had an apartment in Oro Valley that was under 1000 square feet and I was paying $1000 a month in rent. So for $1920 I’d get under 2000 square feet where as the county is getting 2400. As for county employees having a part in the ownership of the property – now that’s just you people trying to cause a stir cause you’re running for election.
Oh and the to person who suggested we take the old jail and make it into the library annex – do you honestly believe that it will save the County money? All we have to do is change our some sprinklers huh? Okay so you’re going to put library documents in a jail cell? I’m sorry that jail would have to be completely remolded. Which guess what? Cost $$!!
Again – it’s election time! I’m sure if you people all lose – I won’t see you again at the Board meetings – until 2016 when you can run again that is!
Happy Voting People!
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Who Am I?
Hi, my name is Sarah Hall – formerly known as Sarah Markham. I’m 24 years old, married, I have a cat and a fish, a bachelors degree in Criminal Justice, I like seafood and pizza and I like to write and I love politics … and … well that’s really all I know.
Who am I? Who is Sarah Hall? What makes her tick? What are her hopes and dreams and ambitions in life? Who is Sarah Hall?
I use to be Sarah Markham. I thought I knew who I was. I thought I knew everything. I was the girl with the weblog. In fact people called me SarahMarkham.Com. It’s who I was. I was Sarah Markham and I was Ann Mathews in An Affair of the Mind and I was content. I wouldn’t say I was happy but I was content. And then one day I woke up and I wasn’t Sarah Markham anymore. And I’m not saying I stopped being Sarah Markham the day I got married. No – it happened about a couple months prior to my wedding day. I stopped being SarahMarkham.Com. I stopped being Ann Mathews and what one must understand is that’s who I was for eight years. It’s all I knew. So to just wake up and all of a sudden realize everything you knew was a lie – it leaves you with this void. I guess they call it an identity crisis. I’m no longer the .Com name, I’m no longer Ann Mathews … I’m Sarah Hall and I really don’t know who that is.
But I can’t go back to being SarahMarkham.Com. I don’t want too.
Many of you know that Cory and I are separated right now. We’re working on our marriage and we’ll figure it out, but right now I’m at my parents. For one split moment the thought of divorce passed through my mind. I went to the Courts website and downloaded the paper work and I was looking over it and there was a spot for a Name Change to go back to your prior name before you got married. I stared at that page for a while and I said “I don’t wanna be Sarah Markham anymore.” It was at that point that I realized I had made a mistake and that I needed to fix things not just with Cory but I needed to fix me. I’m Sarah Hall and I have no idea who that is.
So no – it wasn’t Cory that made me unhappy. He made me happy. He brightens my world, he makes me smile, he makes my heart melt … I’m madly, head over heals in love with him. I wasn’t happy because I lost me. I lived this “fantasy” life for eight years and then one day I woke up and it was gone. My life was based around a fantasy and around a story for eight years. I was left with a void, with a blankness … and I still don’t know who I am. But I’m trying to figure that out.
So my name is Sarah Hall and when I figure out more about myself – I’ll let you know. But until then – I’m just Sarah – a lost, confused girl trying to find her place in this world …
Sarah
Read MoreLet’s Just Whip The Slate Clean
Have you ever just wanted to start your life over? Maybe just hit the re-wind button and re-do it all. Would you have done anything different? What if you did do something different – where would you be today?
I honestly don’t think I could hit re-wind and end up where I am today. What happened had to of happened. But I still want to whip the slate clean. I just want to wake up tomorrow and start over.
I’m married. I’m a new person in a sense. I’m a new me! It’s time to start a new. It’s time to start new traditions, to start living for others and not just for myself, and it’s time to just be brand new.
I sat down to write the End of the Year Review today and I got through February and I found myself going “this isn’t me anymore.” Yes, I use to LOVE to write it. It was the MOST controversial End of the Year Review EVER! People looked forward to it. They looked forward to hearing what Sarah Markham had to say this time. What secret would she reveal in THIS end of the year review? And it was fun to write them, but maybe I lost my love for it somewhere between then and now. I just don’t care anymore. I’m not going to write this blog for others to pick apart and read. I write it for me. For MY documentations! I don’t do it for you.
It’s time to start new traditions. Granted I DO intend on doing the End of the Year DVD because it’s a nice Xmas gift I think and well I promised Robi I would and I can’t break that last promise to him.
I’m making my blog “Members Only/Select FB Friends” only again because at the end of the day ‘it’s no ones business really.’ This is my life. It’s not perfect and there’s ganna be moments where I break down and cry and scream and I will post it on here, but it’s not for everyone to read. It shouldn’t be.
I blog – it’s what I do and I’ll keep my promise to Jared and John. I’ll keep the main part of the site open with my contact info updated regularly but as for the blog – no. It’s time to let it go. It’s time to put the password on it and leave it on it.
New traditions need to be started and a new life has begun. A new story … a new me.
If you are reading this right now – welcome to my life …
Sarah A Hall
Read MoreThere’s A Thousand Words I Wish To Say
There’s hundreds of things I want to say right now and I guess just don’t know where to start. I suppose like all good books we should start at the beginning of the story.
I know Ive been rather quite lately when it comes to blogging and writing. I need to get back intto the habit. Part of me doesn’t want to do this anymore. Part of me wants to just go create a random live journal and a made up username and start blogging that way. So no one can put the name Sarah Hall Markham to it. Then again part of me wants to continue because this is what I do. I guess I just always wanted to be the girl who documented her entire life online and I don’t know maybe it’d help or inspire someone.
Will I stop this website now that I am married? Will I stop blogging? The answer is no. I made a promise once to a dear friend that if they ever wanted to know what was going on in my life all they had to do was come to this site and in one way or another I’d be here. For some reason its one promise I have to keep to him. Maybe it gives me hope that some sort of normal one day will come of this. Maybe I dream that if he sees I’m ok that he’ll be ok. I don’t know. I just want to believe and inspire someone. Maybe i do keep this blog alive and kicking for attention. We all know I crave attention just a little too much. But there is way more behind this blog then just some lonely lost girls cry for attention and I do hope u all can see that one day.
Cory, Brooke, Amber and I went to Havasu Landing on Saturday to get cigarettes because they are so much cheaper. They are only twenty some bucks for a cartoon of them. Saves Cory and I money. He says he’s ganna stop smoking soon but we’ll see. The Landing was fun though.
Amber was going to hook up with the bar tender but ended up with the security guard that Cory helped hook her up with. Lol. It was fun times.
Yesterday Cory and I talked some. I feel the day went good. We have a lot to learn about each other but I guess we have a whole lifetime to do it. Huh?
Well I’m not sure what else I want to say. I do think im ganna make these blogs members only again. Maybe I’ll do that whole fake lj thing. Hmmm … Worth a shot.
Anyway that be all
Laterz
Sarah A Hall
It’s 6am & There’s Silence
There’s hundreds of things I want to say right now and I guess just don’t know where to start. I suppose like all good books we should start at the beginning of the story.
I know Ive been rather quite lately when it comes to blogging and writing. I need to get back intto the habit. Part of me doesn’t want to do this anymore. Part of me wants to just go create a random live journal and a made up username and start blogging that way. So no one can put the name Sarah Hall Markham to it. Then again part of me wants to continue because this is what I do. I guess I just always wanted to be the girl who documented her entire life online and I don’t know maybe it’d help or inspire someone.
Will I stop this website now that I am married? Will I stop blogging? The answer is no. I made a promise once to a dear friend that if they ever wanted to know what was going on in my life all they had to do was come to this site and in one way or another I’d be here. For some reason its one promise I have to keep to him. Maybe it gives me hope that some sort of normal one day will come of this. Maybe I dream that if he sees I’m ok that he’ll be ok. I don’t know. I just want to believe and inspire someone. Maybe i do keep this blog alive and kicking for attention. We all know I crave attention just a little too much. But there is way more behind this blog then just some lonely lost girls cry for attention and I do hope u all can see that one day.
So I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. I can come up with every excuse in the book as to why. One excuse I used was post marriage depression another was a lack of caffeine and caffeine withdraws and another one was I physically don’t feel good so therefor my mind is fucked up. Which ever reason behind it is true I just really have bend down lately. But it’s not just emotional which is why I think post marriage depression doesn’t describe it. I have the best husband in the world and i don’t regret marrying him at all. I’ve just been really physically exhausted lately. I don’t know why. It’s like someone came and took my lovely ball of energy away. Okay so I do fear I am positive being that I am showing the signs. I haven’t gotten the flu like sick but I have been throwing up and whatnot. Maybe it’d be a good thing if I am in te terms of Cory and I because then I’ll have it and he’ll stop worrying about giving it to me. Ugh! I don’t know but yeah ive just been physically exhausted lately for reasons unknown to me.
So ive always been the girl who hated sex. If I could have been with a man and done everything but sex say a year ago I would have been all over it, but I like sex with Cory. He just somehow does everything right. He has intimacy issues though and sometimes sex issues lime he cant get homey or in the mood. Why I put so much on our sex life is beyond me. I use to hate sex son why all of a sudden do I crave it with him so much. I just keep telling myself sex doesn’t matter and if we have sex once every two weeks I’ll be happy but I can only tell myself that for so long before I stop believing it. Sometimes I do question our relationship. Are we too different or too much a lime to actually work out? Will this marriage last? I don’t know. I hope it does and I’ll try my hardest to make sure it does because I have not loved anyone the way I love him and he really is the best thing that’s ever been mine. I love him so somehow I have to find a way to make this work. We got into a huge fight on Saturday night. I don’t know why I called David to come get me? I was drunk and Cory wouldn’t let me drive so I called David. Maybe I was hoping he’d come get me and tell me to get out of this relationship but he didn’t. He told me to stay.
Cory and I are doing better. I Need to learn that he’s not Jared and when he tell me he Neda his space he really does unlike Jared who attempts to kill himself when u give him space when he’s upset. So next time I’ll respect his wishes.
Anyway so the whole Fight started over sex and me not understanding why he can’t bet hard for me pretty much. I was drunk. Cory, Brooke, Amber and I went to Havasu Landing on Saturday to get cigarettes because they are so much cheaper. They are only twenty some bucks for a cartoon of them. Saves Cory and I money. He says he’s ganna stop smoking soon but well see. I somewhat doubt it though.
The Landing was fun though. The fight didn’t happen until we got back to the house. Amber was going to hook up with the bar tender but ended up with the security guard that Cory helped hook her up with. Lol. It was fun times.
Yesterday Cory and I talked some. I feel the day went good. We have a lot to learn about each other but I guess we have a whole lifetime to do it. Huh?
Well I’m not sure what else I want to say. I do think im ganna make these blogs members only again. Maybe I’ll do that whole fake lj thing. Hmmm … Worth as shot.
Anyway that be all
Laterz
Sarah A Hall
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Coming Soon - read and view photos, blogs, and videos from the years 1999-2010 (formally known as SarahMarkham.Com)
