The Reunion Part 2: An After the Affair Special
The Reunion – Part 2
An After The Affair Special
Based off the original novel and characters of Affair of the Mind
Written by Sarah Markham-Hall
Based off the personal diaries of Sarah Markham-Hall
Please Note: The following contains Affair of the Mind Spoilers.
The following is not meant for those under the age of 16 and possibly over the age of 35. The following contains content not limited to: sexual explicated content, violence, drug references, and vulgar language. Reader Discretion Is Advised
April 16th, 2013
7:26 p.m.
One thing Justin Lenox never was, was late. Rest assured if you have an appointment with Lenox he’ll be right on time or sometimes even early. The latter is what happened the night of the Reunion. We arrived in the parking lot of the restaurant about four minutes to 7:30pm.
“This isn’t that famous place from Hell’s Kitchen is it?” I asked Justin as we pulled in. He refused to tell me where we were dining that night. As he put it, “I like to blog a lot.” He wasn’t far from the truth and eating at a place as luxurious as BLT Steak in downtown Scottsdale should have deserved a rightful place on my nightly facebook report. But as I would soon find out, the entire Reunion with the four of us was something that would never make my nightly updates.
“No,” Justin answered.
“Do I dare ask how much a soda is at this place?” I asked with a laugh.
“Oh sweetie let me clue you in on some etiquette before we go inside,” he laughed parking the car in the parking lot. “You do not order soda. You order their most expensive glass of wine.”
“But I don’t like wine.”
“It doesn’t matter if you like wine or not. You order it, you drink it and you smile. It’s that kind of restaurant. Oh and the bill will probably cost more than your rent next month so just smile and enjoy it,” Justin grinned.
Justin Lenox had money. He didn’t always admit to owning the large sum of money he did, but Justin was far from being even considered middle class. Even by losing over half a million dollars with the failed pregnancy of Lambert Elliot, Justin still had enough money to probably afford a $600 meal once a week for the next ten years.
As I laughed at Justin, a reflection in the corner of my eye caught my attention. As I turned to look at the entrance of the restaurant, I saw him. He looked as beautiful as ever standing there with his dark red polo shirt and black dress pants on. He hadn’t aged a bit in the past three years. His face still glistened in the light with paleness only he could capture. I always compared James Black to that of the fantasy anime characters. It went perfectly with his character considering James was an avid anime fantic. I always said he reminded me of Howel from Howel’s Moving Castle with his charm, charism and wittiness about him.
Seeing James Black stand there brought back all the memories he and I use to once share. At one point in time I could have pictured us growing old together, having babies, and living that happily ever after fairy tell ending. But happy and fairy tale were not two words no one should ever use to describe myself and Mr. Black. James Black is the mixture of the devil and God. He has such evil in his soul yet such kindness in his eyes that if the devil and God ever had an offspring, James Black would be it.
“Are you coming?” Justin asked taking me out of my trance.
“Yeah,” I sighed unfastening my seat belt and emerging from the car.
Our eyes met the minute I got out of Justin’s silver Mercedes Benz. A smile crossed his face and he welcomed me with a glisten in his eyes and a nod of his head. “Good evening Ms. Mathews,” he said taking my hand.
“Mr. Black,” I said shaking his hand and removing it from his grasp.
“James,” Justin said condescendingly walking up to him.
“Justin,” James smiled.
“So did you trick us or did you really get Timothy Edwards to join us?” Justin asked with a smirk.
“He didn’t trick you,” Tim said walking up from behind us. “Do you really think I would miss this show?” he laughed.
“Well, you never did like the drama,” Justin said turning towards him.
“That was back then when I was actually involved in it. You guys have put such a spin on the tale of us that I cannot help but find it all too amusing,” he smiled.
Timothy Edwards had slimmed down a bit from a couple years ago. He was far heavier than he was during my high school years, but somewhere behind the heaviness still laid that cute innocent smile both Justin and I feel in love with. He was different though. The past ten years had added some pessimism to his attitude along with a great deal of cynicism. I suppose after falling in and out of love so many times to just have your heart stomped on, it would make a person become nothing but a pessimistic ass.
“Well shall we go inside then,” James said holding the door open for us all.
As we all four sat down in a booth in a private VIP area of the back bar, I took in the situation that was in front of me. Not since 2006, had all four of us been in the same room together let alone sitting down to eat together. This was a first and as things seem to go with the four of us, it was a situation I was sure would not happen again.
“So how have you been Tim? You been in town long?” James asked him acting like he had not spoken to Timothy since his return to Arizona a little over a year ago.
“I’m okay. Same old same old. I work at Target, go to school at night, take photography classes in my spare time, still love comics, and stay clear of relationships. Like I said same old same old. I moved back a little over a year ago,” he said.
Timothy Edwards was once a happy, go-lucky guy. The Timothy that sat in front of me was nothing of the guy I wrote about in part 2 and fell in love with in part 1. This Timothy had let the world destroy his goodness, and with every last word spoken you could tell how bitter and angry he was at the world.
As for James Black and Timothy’s relationship, Justin and I both knew the truth.
“How’s the drug business, Black?” Justin asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I work as a school psychiatrist remember?”
“Right, and I work for the Arizona School for the Deaf and Blind in Tucson, Arizona. No one buys it anymore, Black. So how’s the drug business?”
“It’s good. How’s the hacking business?”
“Great,” Justin said with dry sarcastic humor in return. “I assume James sells to you for a fair price, Tim?”
“Excuse me?” Timothy asked as I tried to hold back my laughter at Justin’s utter bluntness.
“Never mind,” Justin said letting the topic go.
“How’s Elliot?” Timothy asked cringing his teeth and changing the topic.
“He’s wonderful,” Justin replied.
“Mmmm! So Ms. Mathews,” Tim said turning towards me. “Oh wait isn’t it Hall now?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s Ann Hall.”
“I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that you married Kristopher,” he laughed.
“I don’t think any of us can,” Justin laughed sipping his Cosmo.
“It was predictable though,” Tim commented.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked with a laugh.
“Oh come on! You all see it right? The resemblance?”
“Excuse me?” I asked confused at what Tim was getting at.
“Oh come on you knew you could never have Justin so you married Kris. He’s like Justin only not as gay, and deep down you know they sort of resemble each other.”
“What?” Justin asked almost chocking on his drink.
“You and Kris somewhat look alike,” Tim said.
“I am so much cuter!”
“Tim does have a point,” James laughed.
“Okay wait all of you, stop!” I exclaimed. “Justin and Kris do not resemble each other,” I said with an eye roll.
“Right! So you didn’t marry Kristopher because he was the next best thing to Justin Lenox, a guy you can never truly have?” Timothy laughed. “MmmHmmm … people really believe that almost as much as they believe James Black isn’t still madly in love with you.”
“Wow!” James exclaimed. “Okay Timothy, maybe we should just change the topic and start discussing what we actually came here to discuss!”
“Fine, and what is that reason anyway? I really don’t know why we are here. From what I have read, courtesy of Ms. Hall’s blog, we are here because she wanted a reunion like old days, but one must remember that it’s not the year 2005 anymore,” he laughed taking a drink of his rum and coke he ordered.
“What happened to you, Timothy?” I finally asked. “You never use to be this bitter.”
“Yeah and you use to blog about shit that mattered so I guess we’ve both changed.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“You and Justin have a miscarriage, apparently, and not one blog about it?” he questioned. “Which is why I question your version of events.”
“You question my version of events?” I asked.
“Yes, I do. I don’t believe either of you. The only reason I agreed to tonight was to find out the truth about what happened to the Baby because honestly I don’t buy your story of miscarriage. You, Ann Mathews, are lying and you Justin are covering for her. Some things never change,” Timothy said.
“We had a miscarriage,” Justin said firmly.
“Right? You spent all that money on having that baby and your baby carrier which you never did say who it was just miscarried it?”
“The baby carrier was Charisa and yes we had a miscarriage. Not all the money in the world can protect you from that,” I replied.
“I thought Charisa was adamant about not being your baby carrier?” Timothy questioned.
“Money changes people, Tim. You should know that,” Justin said.
“So there’s really no baby?” Tim asked. “Then why no blog Ms. Mathews?”
“Not every blog I write is public anymore,” I replied.
“Mmm … I see. So I’ve gotten bitter over the years and you’ve lost your courage. See Ann, people change it’s just not always for the better.”
“Okay, Tim, enough! We are here to discuss what we always discuss when we get together,” James started to say.
“Right the death of Michael Hart! The entire reasoning behind Affair of the Mind. Michael! It’s always about Michael and it always will be, won’t it?” he laughed.
“Yes, it always will be,” Justin chimed in.
“It’s been 10 years no one cares James. If we haven’t been arrested by now, we’re not going to be. Ann has told everyone what we did. She wrote a book about it, and no one cares. So maybe it’s time we all just let it go,” Timothy said.
“You are right, Ann did write a book and I think we all need to remember why no one cares. No one cares because everyone thinks she’s insane. You do realize we’d all be in jail right now if it weren’t for Ann?”
“What?” Timothy laughed almost checking on his drink. “The entire reason you and Justin have spent the last ten years dwelling on the death of Michael Hart is because Ann took the situation and made it a household name across social media outlets with her damn book! How is Ann all of a sudden the reason we didn’t go to jail?”
“Because she took the fall for it,” James said calmly.
“What?” Timothy laughed in disbelief.
“Yeah what?” I asked turning towards James confused on where he was going with this.
“I think I know where he’s going with this,” Justin said. “She did take the fall for what we did. It was her actions that made it so people like Tom Lenal will never believe a word she says. Ann played the crazy, schizophrenic and because of it no one will ever believe the words written in Affair of the Mind.”
“People think she made it up and they also think she made up Michael Hart,” James said.
“To some Ann is known as the crazy schizophrenic who really isn’t friends with a guy named Justin Lenox. Justin is just a figment of her imagination,” Justin explained.
“There’s no proof what Ann says is correct. There’s no pictures, no video, no evidence that links Ann to any of us. She took the fall for us. She played the crazy schizophrenic so we’d all get away with murder. So for that Timothy you should be grateful,” James said.
“You’re right. Ann took Affair of the Mind and made it this crazy, psychotic story. I mean really, Ms. Mathews? You had James rape me in the bathroom of some creepy house he was renting and then kidnap me and hold me against my will? That was my favorite part of part 2 by the way,” Tim smiled.
“Yeah, I know. I loved part 2. It was so fun making that shit up,” I laughed.
“It was so fun reading it,” he laughed. “I remember when you wrote how Josh had attempted to kill Justin and the man hunt was on by the FBI to find him because he almost killed a federal agent. Oh wow! You guys really went far out huh? I mean if anyone reads part 2, they are never going to believe you,” he laughed. “Which makes me ask again, why are we here?”
“We’re here because I’m tired of playing the crazy schizophrenic girl,” I said in answer to his question. “We’re here because I want out, and because Justin and I are pregnant.”
Stay tuned for After the Affair: The Reunion: Part 3 Coming Next Week
Only to Sarahahall.Com
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The Politics Of Being an FBI Hacker
“So it’s official. We’re moving come August,” he said happily into the line. ”My last day with the school is May 24th.”
“Wow!” I exclaimed. ”I can’t believe you’re moving. It’s going to be so weird. I always associate you and Elliot with Oro Valley and Tucson so to say you don’t live there anymore is just odd,” I replied.
“I know huh? The Tucson area has become like my home. A part of me is sad to leave it.”
“So have you decided what area you are moving to in Phoenix yet?” I asked.
“Well obviously it’s going to be paradise valley or fountain hills. Probably paradise valley. I love Elliot’s family but I don’t care to be neighbors with my in-laws.”
“Very true,” I laughed. ”Don’t screw this one up.”
“What do you mean don’t screw it up?”
“I’m serious! Last time the FBI offered you a job you fucked it up. Don’t fuck up Lenox.”
“I won’t Ms. Mathews,” he said condescendingly.
“You know you’ll be closer to Mr. James Black,” I chuckled.
“Very funny!” he said sternly.
“You guys could have like lunch dates every other Friday,” I laughed.
“Funny!” he exclaimed. ”I don’t think so! Mr. Black can stay in his part of town and I will stay in mine. You just said don’t fuck this up well getting in with James Black again will for sure fuck things up. James and I stopped being close friends the day we plotted to kill one another and sadly our friendship never did come back from that.”
“Yeah, I know. Luckily for you guys the Phoenix area is huge so I doubt you will run into each other at your local Wal-Mart. Anyway so what is Elliot going to do? I doubt your powerful influence as Mr. Special FBI Man is still unable to get him back on at any police force.”
“No,” he sighed. ”Most police departments frown upon hiring convicted felons; however, I am close to getting him a job at security at the Arizona State Capitol.”
“Right, politics, of course. I forget at times politics is a dirty business.”
“Like I always said Ann Mathews, politics, money and power all go hand in hand,” he said.
“Whatever,” I said with an eye roll. “At least you’ll be closer to me.”
“Yes closer by a whole hour and a half,” he laughed.
“So what exactly is your job title with the FBI?”
“I’m the hacker.”
“Yes I am really sure your job title is ‘hacker,’” I laughed.
“I’m part of their cyber security task force and yes I really am the hacker.”
“Okay,” I said. ”So when Iran and North Korea get hacked I can just say ‘oh that is the wonderful work of my best friend, Justin,’” I laughed.
“Yeah sure something like that.”
“Right,” I nodded.
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Lambert, Joey & A Guilt I’ll Never Get Over
So let’s see who all pays attention to my blog because if you know me and you can decode this – you SHOULD be up in arms about it.
So I had dinner with Jackson and her wife on Thursday night (you know – Christina Jackson but everyone always calls her Jackson – inside joke) . Anyway I’ll write about the dinner and all my happenings in Omaha in another blog post. This post is dedicated to something she informed me of during our dinner conversation.
So I always knew there was SOMETHING between Joey Scott and Josh Randolph. Josh was way too guilty after Joey died. He acted like he had a secret to hide and to this day he still does. But what that secret was, I could never figure it out. I had my speculations: a love affair, HIV, HPV, drugs, sex … oh yes I had my speculations. In fact a whole blog was once written around the topic of HIV, sex and a love affair. Like most of my Affair of the Mind stories that for all intentional purposes should have been something I just made up off the top of my head – the story of Josh Randolph and Joey Scott was really NOT that far from the truth.
I spent almost the entire ride back home to Lakeworth Friday afternoon on the phone with Justin crying. It hit me as the plane landed down at the Phoenix Skyharbor Airport that the words I had written on Facebook the night prior were far too true. I wrote Thursday night on facebook the following: I am the most open person you will ever meet – my entire life is posted on the internet for the entire world to see and read and I won’t ever change – however the minute I put a face to the name Justin Lenox is the minute my story becomes a reality which is why you will never see photos, videos or any other media related to the four main characters of Affair of the Mind – it doesn’t mean they aren’t real and it doesn’t mean my story isn’t true – but I love Justin Lenox and despite what ANY of you think or say – I may write the story but I won’t put him in jail. The photos, the videos and the truth will be released on the day the last one of us dies – it’s called loyalty and love and think what u want of me but I will always love Justin Lenox and I will always protect him despite if that makes me a bad person or not
What I didn’t realize when I posted it was that I chose Justin over Joey Scott, and even after what Jackson told me Thursday night it didn’t hit me until the plane landed in Phoenix that I am just as guilty as Josh over the death of Joey Scott.
I know – Joey died of complications related to a disease many said was inherited And maybe that’s true, but I will NEVER stop feeling guilty over his death as I am sure neither will Josh.
Jackson told me that Joey was in love with his best friend. They had many sexual encounters and Josh always told him he loved him and wanted to be with him … and this was all before Kristopher Hall came into the picture. I knew Joey loved him. I didn’t know that back in 2006 but I knew that the day I asked Joey about him back in 09. What I didn’t know was the extent of their relationship. Joey wouldn’t tell me, and now I know why.
I asked Justin if I hadn’t of moved to Tucson in 2005 if I could have saved him. Was it the drugs that lead to his disease? Was it his undying love for Josh Randolph that destroyed the man I once knew, admired and loved? Had I NOT left would he still be alive? Justin’s reply was – I will never know and I can’t live my entire life wondering what if.
But I chose Justin over Joey and when asked if I could go back and save Joey over Justin – would I? If I could go back, knowing that he would still be alive today but Justin would end up in prison – would I have saved him instead of Justin Lenox?
….
I can’t answer that.
I need a reason. I have needed a reason since the day Joey died. I have needed a reason of WHY! I thought Kris was my reason. Had I never met Justin, I never would have fallen in love with Kris because I never would have emerged myself in the gay community of Lakeworth, Arizona. But Kris isn’t it. Joey loved Josh way before Kris came along.
I need my reason back. I need to know why I keep choosing him over everyone else.
So is our agreement the reason? Is Lambert Robi Elliot the reason why?
I hope so because I cannot live with myself knowing had I chose a different path Joey would still be alive. So if Lambert isn’t our reason … than you tell me – how does After the Affair end?
The Reunion – Part 1: An After the Affair Special
The Reunion – Part 1
An After The Affair Special
Based off the original novel and characters of Affair of the Mind
Written by Sarah Markham-Hall
Based off the personal diaries of Sarah Markham-Hall
Please Note: The following contains Affair of the Mind Spoilers.
The following is not meant for those under the age of 16 and possibly over the age of 35. The following contains content not limited to: sexual explicated content, violence, drug references, and vulgar language. Reader Discretion Is Advised
April 16th, 2013
11:34 p.m.
“Do you recall the last time we slept together?” he asked turning towards me as our bodies laid adjacent on the bed.
“You make it sound like we’re going to rip each other’s clothes off and have sex right here and now,” I said looking at him with intrigue.
“Mmm … tempting but the last time I checked you and I were married to other people. I don’t think the idea of us having sex would go over to well,” he replied.
“I agree. Your question to me though is probably going to give people the wrong idea.”
“Oh Ms. Mathews, people get the wrong idea about us all the time,” he laughed.
“True,” I laughed. “2010,” I said.
“Huh?” he asked confused.
“The last time you and I slept together was July 2010 right before I met Kristopher,” I said answering his question.
“Ah, yes. Now I remember.”
“The last time you and I slept together as in you and I sleeping in the same bed without having sex was 2011 when you came to be with me after Kris and I broke up.”
“Mm, yes I remember that too. Those were the days weren’t they Ms. Mathews,” he laughed. “So are you going to be okay?” he asked taking my hand into his. “I do worry about you, you know?”
“I’m fine. Are you going to be okay?” I asked turning towards him.
“I’ll be just peachy,” he smiled. I squeezed his hand as a calm overcame me. For the first time in years, I felt content. The night may have not turned out the way I had hoped, but at the end of the day I still had him, and at that moment nothing else seemed to matter.
5 Hours Earlier
The last time I saw Justin Lenox was less than a month ago. I met him on my lunch break one day to discuss the terms of our agreement. An agreement I shall explain later on in this story. Yet despite the fact I just saw his face a month prior, I still got butterflies and my face still lite up like the fourth of July with excitement when I exited my car at the Starwood Hotel in Phoenix, Arizona and saw him standing there waiting for me.
“Justin!” I exclaimed running up to him and jumping in his arms.
“Ah Ms. Mathews,” he replied wrapping his arms around me. “I never thought you’d make it.”
“Well you know how it is. Lakeworth likes to suck you in and hates letting you go, but I made it.”
“Well we have exactly an hour and a half before we are to meet the rest of the gang. So I suggest you unpack your bags in your room, make up some bullshit story to your husband, and we get you ready,” he said walking with me to my car to help me with my bags.
“Okay. Sounds like a plan,” I smiled. “Have you ever stayed here before?” I asked him.
“Nope,” he said. “Seems like an okay hotel though.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it is. My boss stays here and he wouldn’t stay at no dumpy hotel.”
“Come Ms. Mathews, let’s go check out what our tax dollars pay for,” he laughed heading towards to hotel entrance.
“Your tax dollars? Since when did you pay Lakeworth County Property taxes?” I asked with a laugh.
“Oh my tax dollars are all over that county. You just don’t see it. That’s all,” he replied.
The Starwood Hotel in my opinion was a five star hotel. It had a large beautiful outdoor swimming pool that was open 24 hours. Had it not been the one cold, windy day of the year in Arizona, I totally would have entertained the idea of skipping this dinner and going to swim in the pool all night under the stars. Unfortunately the temperature outside was in the 60s and the wind was blowing a good 20mph.
The hotel room was unlike anything I had ever seen before. The rooms were decorated in modern elegance and when you walked into the elevator you felt like you were walking into a night club in downtown Las Vegas. I must say, the Starwood Hotel in downtown Phoenix, Arizona was vastly becoming my favorite hotel.
As Justin and I prepared for the evening ahead of us, my mind wondered to the thoughts of what it would be like to see James Black face to face after three years. The last time James Black and myself were in the same room together was about two months after Joey died. The three months in between Joey’s death and me meeting Kristopher were filled with nothing but sex, alcohol and Adam Lambert. I know hard to believe huh? The sweet innocent Ann Mathews turned to sex and alcohol after the loss of one of her best friends? Shocking. I know.
My last encounter with James Black consisted of drugs and lots of sex. I had 42 condoms to use within those three months and I will say I used all of them and then some. James had come to town on business arrangements with Justin. Justin wanted money to replenish the Trust Fund he borrowed from to help conceive mine and his child. James agreed to sell him drugs so he could turn around and profit from them so he counld gain the thousands of dollars back he put into the In vitro fertilization of what we called at the time Baby Lambert.
Between the years 2005 and 2010, James Black hadn’t changed much. He was still heavily involved in the drug scene. I had once asked James to choose me over drugs and he chose the latter. However it was late June of 2010 and my best friend had just died. I didn’t seem to care at that point in time about drugs or even about the fact Justin was about to have my x girlfriend give birth to our child. All I cared about was sex and James was my perfect distraction.
After a night filled with nothing but sex, I never saw James again. Not until about two months ago when he had the nerve to finally answer my dying question of why he didn’t chose me over drugs if he claims to love me so much. His answer: he didn’t want to share me with Justin Lenox. Yeah, I’m still a little pissed off at the answer.
What would I say to James Black when I saw him for the first time in almost three years? Would I ask him why? Why would he say he didn’t chose me because I was in love with Justin when he himself once claimed to be in love with him too? Would I ask why he was still involved in the drug scene? Would I ask him about his own marriage, his relationship with Justin, and how he got Timothy Edwards to agree to this dinner?
Timothy Edwards – the last time I saw Timothy was in the early fall of 2012. I made the mistake of informing Justin that Timothy had moved back to Scottsdale after leaving his boyfriend on the East Coast and was working at Target of all places. Yes, the rumors are true. I called out of work one day, got in my car, met Justin in the parking lot of Target, he went inside and tried to win back a ‘love he swore got away.’ Timothy turned him down, we all three had lunch, Timothy kissed Justin and Justin FINALLY realized he wasn’t in love with Timothy he was in love with Elliot Charles. Yes, that was the last time I saw Timothy Edwards.
I spent years trying to piece together this infamous love story of Timothy Edwards and Justin Lenox only to finally realize that all it was was a fantasy. Timothy never loved Justin and Justin didn’t really love him. All they were were a love story created by my version of fake events for Part 2. And after the dinner, I realized Timothy Edwards was nothing of what I made him out to be. The real Timothy is a conceded, stuck up asshole almost similar to what the infamous Justin Lenox use to be. I’m not sure if the Timothy Edwards I once loved and admired back in Highschool was like that but the Timothy that sat across from me at dinner that night was not the man I once called my best partner in crime.
“Are you ready?” Justin asked as I hung up the phone from talking to Kristopher.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I sighed.
“Give me your phone,” he said holding his hand out to me.
“Why?” I asked placing my phone into his hand.
“So I can make sure you can’t be found. You have GPS on this thing. I need to make sure that if anyone tries to find you, they can’t,” he said plugging numbers and sequences into my phone.
“Ironic, I’m two days away from attending a conference on cyber security and my best friend is hacking my phone to make sure I can’t be found. How fucking ironic is that?” I laughed.
“That’s not irony Ann Mathews. It’s called your life,” he smiled handing me the phone back. “We’re ready.”
“Yes, we are as ready as we will ever be,” I sighed as I followed Justin to his car.
Check back next week for Part 2 to the Reunion – Only at Sarahahall.com
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My Husband Saved Me in 2006 – He Just Doesn’t Know It
I highly believe everything happens for a reason. I highly believe we are all connected in one way or another. And I highly believe that the choices we make in life lead us down the path we’re supposed to be on. For not being a religious person – I still seem to have very spiritual beliefs.
You all know the story of how Cory and I met. We meet on Halloween night 2009 for a brief moment and due to life’s crazy ways didn’t run into each other again until Robi’s Celebration of Life Ceremony after he passed away in April of 2010. It took us three more months to realize that we had an attraction towards one another after obviously clearing up the whole ‘but wait aren’t you both gay?’ issue. And after that – well the rest is history.
But what people don’t know is that I wrote about Cory Michael Hall 14 times in my journal between the years 2006 and 2009 before even saying one word to the man. The following is the truth behind my prior knowledge of my husband. Truth he probably doesn’t even know of, but I feel the need to state it because it shows how everything is connected and how things happen for a reason.
It was February of 2006 when I first heard the name Cory Michael Hall (AOTM name is Kristopher Mach Hall).
Please note: The following is written in association with Affair of the Mind. Due to legality and confidentially reasons, the following names will be associated with those characters of AOTM. I am sorry for any confusion this may cause. The following also contains AOTM Spoilers
I lived in Tucson, Arizona at that point in time and received a phone call from my besty at the time, Justin Lenox, to inform me of the new ‘gay guy’ dating the infamous Josh Randolph. I remember saying and I quote “The cute ones seemed to have moved to Lakeworth after I left. Go figure!” Justin rambled something about why the new cute gay guy would want to date someone as disgusting as Josh Randolph or something along those lines ( you know how Lenox feels about Randolph ).
Anyway so the last time the “Green Gang” was together was in February of 2006. I was going back to Lakeworth for a fitting for my brother’s wedding (I was in the bridal party) and also to speak to Joey Scott and convience him to leave Lakeworth and move back to Tucson with me. If he refused? We were going to kidnap him.
One of the things I told Joey before I moved to Tucson was under no circumstances what so ever do NOT start hanging out with people like Josh Randolph. So when I said it I never thought that Joey and I would get into this big fight, we’d stop talking, he’d hate my guts, and then he’d ignore everything I ever once told him and become best buds with the one guy Justin proclaimed was ‘the enemy.’ BUT that’s exactly what happened. So why in my mind did I think going back to Lakeworth and talking to Joey would do anything was beyond me.
But none the less – you know Ann Mathews and her brilliant ideas – the plan was put into place to go back to Lakeworth, meet one final time with James, Justin and Timothy, kidnap Joey and come back to Tucson and live happily ever after. Hey I never said I had brilliant ideas!
Anyway so back to Kristopher Hall. Justin found his myspace profile page (remember myspace? Use to be the facebook of social media? You know before facebook? Yeah!) and I do what I do best – stalked him on the internet. I looked through every picture, every blog, every status update, every detail of his myspace. I then went to Joey’s and Josh’s myspace profiles to do the same. I probably spent a good four to five hours analyzing every last details of the relationship and connections between the three of them and this is what transpired the next day because of it:
February 10th, 2006 (The real story not the AOTM Part 2 Version)
I starred at the suitcase as I put it into the trunk of my car. “I can’t do this,” I sighed picking up my cell phone.
“Are you on your way?” Justin asked answering it.
“I can’t do this,” I said almost in tears.
“Why?” he asked getting annoyed. “We had an agreement Ann Mathews!”
“Don’t worry I’m still coming down. I just can’t do the whole Joey Scott thing.”
“Why?” he asked again.
“It’s just not right. I can’t just go to Lakeworth after not talking to him for over six months and demand that he stop hanging out with people. And realistically Justin, I can’t kidnap him either,” I explained.
The sun shown bright in Tucson that morning. It was 5:30am and in less than an hour I’d be on the road back to Lakeworth and in less than 24 hours all four of us would be together again. Yet as much as I wanted to sit there and think of what I would say to James when I came face to face with him, the only thing that seemed to weigh heavy on my mind were the images of Kristopher Hall.
Kris was someone I had never even met. He was someone who came into Joey’s life after me, and from reading his myspace and seeing the pictures of him, Joey and Josh I came to realize that I no longer mattered. Joey had new friends, and despite the fact that neither Justin nor I didn’t approve of them; it was no longer my place to tell Joey Scott who he could and could not hang out with. I lost the privilege to give Joey advice the minute I chose Justin Lenox over him.
“Ann this was your idea. I thought you wanted to get Joey out of Lakeworth?” Justin said not giving me a minute to answer him.
“I did until last night,” I said.
“What happened last night? Did you talk to him or something?”
“No, I read Kristopher’s myspace and stared at pictures of him, Josh, and Joey all night.”
“Why?” Justin asked annoyed. “What does Kristopher Hall have anything to do with this? We don’t even know Kristopher. For all we know, he is as naïve as Joey is. I mean come on. He has to be naïve he’s dating Josh Randolph for crying out loud! I am sure he has no clue who the man is behind the mask. You should go to Lakeworth, find this mysterious Kristopher person, and warn him now before it’s too late!” Justin suggested.
“It’s not my place,” I sighed. “Joey seems happy and if they make him happy then it’s not my place to go in there and take that away from him. Joey was always good to me. I once considered him a best friend. I wish he’d leave Lakeworth and never look back, but it’s not my place to make sure that happens. I’m sorry Justin. Joey is happy, and I won’t be the person to take that away from him.”
“Fine! Whatever!” Justin exclaimed. “When are you going to be here? You are still coming tonight right? I didn’t go to all this trouble to get Timothy and James …”
“YES!” I exclaimed interrupting him. “I am still coming. Don’t worry. I’ll be there.”
“Good!” he sighed in relief. “So besides the whole Joey situation, the rest of the story line is to go as planned. Correct?”
“Correct,” I replied getting in the driver’s seat of my car as I stared at the road between here and Lakeworth.
The name Kristopher Hall was never mentioned again until 2007 when in AOTM Part 2 (my version of events which was nowhere near the truth) it is explained for one brief moment that Kris and Josh broke up and Josh went back to be with Danny.
After that the name Kristopher Hall is not brought up until I start talking to Joey again in the year 2009. However the concept of Kristopher Hall and a story line consisting of him as a main character for Part 3 was almost a reality.
You all know the story of AOTM Part 2 and 3 and if you don’t well I highly suggest you don’t continue reading this …
I’ll give you a moment to stop …
.
.
.
Okay so Part 2 is 95% made up and the beginning of Part 3 is about 95% bullshit. Josh Randolph never put Justin in the hospital and almost killed him, and Josh never ended up in prison for attempted murder of a federal agent. I know – it made a GREAT story line didn’t it? All dramatic and everything … but none the less – NOT TRUE!
However prior to Tom Lenal contacting me in January of 2009 and my reconnecting with him and Joey, Justin and I had come up with a story line to run with that consisted of Kristopher. At this point in time, I had no clue what happened between the two in real life all I know was they made a cute couple so hey why not go with it. So we did!
If AOTM Part 3 would have continued it would have went something like this – Josh Randolph is released from prison by none other than Justin Lenox after Justin is in a car accident and loses his memory and decides he wants to be a ‘better person.’ Josh reconnects with Kristopher after Josh tells me he was madly in love with him and shouldn’t have dumped him. So Justin hooks them back up. All is good until Justin comes out and says he faked having amnesia to get Timothy back (him and Timothy fought before the car accident). So Timothy and Justin break up and for unknown reasons so does Kris and Josh. Timothy and Josh hook up and …. Well u see where I am taking this … yeah! I already hear Justin yelling at me now so I won’t say who Justin was going to hook up with. Hey I was having him end up with James but then I thought about that and yeah no! Lol! I never even thought of having him end up with Elliot because at the time Elliot and Jacob were like THE couple. So yeah … (And to make matters even worse – I even wrote up some fake journal entries in anticipation for this story line … like:
“JR just called me and said he got a date with Kris. I asked him tonight I’m like ‘whatever happened to Kris?’ They went out on what – one date! Well JR told him he wasn’t ready to date. I’m like you call his ass up and get a date with him! LoL! So I guess he finally got a hold of him and they have a date tomorrow. –fake crying sniffles– HOW CUTE!”)
IF only AOTM Part 3 had continued …. BUT it didn’t! Tom Lenal contacted me and I decided to go with the whole ‘crazy schizophrenic’ story instead. Again NOT my greatest idea in life but … whatever! I never said I had brilliant ideas.
And there you have it folks – see at the end of the day we all are meant to be. Things just have a funny way of working themselves out.
I know I know – I’m glad I didn’t have Justin end up with Kris too. : )
I Had A Dream Of Me & You
“I had a dream,” I began to say.
“Oh no! This story is not going to end well …,” he sighed.
“Guess who will be in Phoenix next Tuesday?” I asked chippery.
“Adam Lambert?” he asked with excitement.
“NO!” I exclaimed.
“Mmm … Ian Somerhalder?”
“No!” I exclaimed. ”Me!”
“Ah right, your little business trip. And your point?”
“Um, hello! We could totally do dinner?”
“Ahh … Okay. Sure,” he laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” he laughed more.
“Well fuck you too! Gess!”
“So is this a date just between me and you or between you, me and Elliot?”
“It’s not a fucking date!”
“You just asked me to dinner Ms. Mathews.”
“As a friend!! You know two people having dinner as friends. People do that you know.”
“Right. Sure. Me and you and dinner. Okay. You keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh you know what. Never mind! I don’t want to do dinner with you. I’ll do it with just Elliot.”
“Haha! Oh that’s even better!”
“Oooo …!” I exclaimed.
“So where shall we go out for dinner, Ms. Mathews?”
“I don’t know. Surprise me. Put your millions to use and take me to the most expensive restaurant in all of Phoenix.”
“Why would I do that? Isn’t the government paying for your dinner?”
“No,” I lied.
“MmmHmmm. So let me get this straight: you are asking me to dinner?”
“Why is everything with you about sex?” I asked.
“I never said a damn word about sex. Wait a minute now you’re asking me to dinner and back to your hotel for desert? Wow! Ms. Mathews, does your husband know about this?”
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed. ”Never mind! Just never mind! I am hanging up now! I have to go get ready for work!”
“Mmmhmmm!” he laughed. ”See you next Tuesday Ms. Mathews,” he said seductively hanging up the phone.
“Ohhhh!!” I exclaimed as I heard the dial tone.
Read MoreFinishing Part 1
“Wow! This is the second hardest thing I have ever had to write in my life behind the speech I gave at Joey’s funeral,” I sighed into the phone line. “You write it!”
“Oh no!” he laughed. “I am not going to write about your love affair with James Black!” he continued to laugh.
“I don’t get why this is so hard to write!” I exclaimed in frustration.
“I think it’s hard for you to write because you have never sat down and actually analyzed your feelings for James Black,” Justin replied.
“Whatever! James Black is the most confusing, annoying, pessimistic man I have ever met next to you of course.”
“Do you love him?” Justin asked bluntly.
“What?” I asked caught off guard.
“Did you ever love him?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I was led to believe for so many years that he chose drugs over me, and then he tells me he didn’t choose me because he didn’t want to share me with you. So I honestly don’t know. James Black was the most dysfunctional, fucked up relationship I have ever been in.”
“Okay but let’s put all that aside. Let’s forget the fact that he chose drugs over you. Let’s forget the fact he pretended for years he never even dated you. And let’s forget the fact that he now says he loved you but he didn’t want to share you with me. Put all that aside. Did you ever love James Black?”
As I thought of how I was going to answer Justin, my mind filled with all the memories, although short lived, of my time with James. “Yes,” I sighed.
“Let me ask you Ann. If James had chosen you that day, do you think you two would still be together?” Justin asked.
“Yes,” I replied. “But he didn’t and even years later when I gave him every opportunity in the world to make it right between us, he still didn’t come back.”
“Because he didn’t want to share you with me,” Justin said. “Fine let me ask you another question, if back then or even now James said he would be with you but you had to choose him over me. Would you?” he asked.
“No. I’ll always choose you,” I said without hesitation.
“Then can you blame him for not coming after you?”
“No,” I sighed.
“Look Ann I am going to tell you this not to hurt you, but because you deserve to know. He loved. He probably still does. He will probably spend the rest of his life following your website wishing things had turned out different. You broke his heart when you married, Kristopher.”
“He married Nicki way before I married Kristopher!” I stated.
“Yes, but you married Kristopher Hall of all the people in this world you could have married.”
“Oh please don’t start on your whole ‘why the hell did you marry him’ rant again!” I exclaimed.
“Look Ann my point, he loved you. You loved him but at the end of the day it’s like Timothy and I – it will never work. So let it go, finish the book and move on,” Justin stated.
“And what about Bobby Blue?” I asked.
“What about him? Did you love him?”
“No,” I said without hesitation. “But he was good to me despite everything, and I can’t bring myself to tell him in a book my true feelings. He doesn’t deserve to open the pages of Affair of the Mind to read that the entire three years we were together I never truly loved him the way he loved me.”
“Then tell him in person. He does still live in Lakeworth right?” Justin asked.
“Oh yeah, that’s going to go over real well. Last time I talked to him was in 2009 when I told him the whole schizophrenic story and that he didn’t stand a chance running for City Council.”
“Well he doesn’t stand a chance running for city council,” Justin laughed. “Look Ann, you can either write it down in the pages of a novel and let him read it, or you can call him and tell him the truth.”
“Do you know how many lies I told him? Half of our relationship was nothing but a lie! And you’re saying that five years later I should just pick up that phone, call him and tell him the truth. What if he doesn’t believe me?” I asked.
“You’re writing a book based on your life that a good 99.9% aren’t going to believe. It doesn’t matter if he believes you or not. All that matters is that you told the truth. It’s not up to you to make him believe it. Tell him the truth. Tell him the truth to part 2. He deserves to know the truth.”
“You know this book is becoming a real pain in my ass!” I exclaimed.
“Hey it was your idea not mine. I was totally happy with laying low, living off my millions of dollars and never speaking of Lakeworth again,” he laughed.
“Whatever! I’m going to go stare at Chapter 37 and find a way to write about having sex with James Black.”
“Haha!” Justin laughed. “You have fun with that. Tell your husband I said hi by the way.”
“Why would I tell my husband you said hi?” I asked.
“Because one day me and him are going to have to have a nice long chat. You’re right I can’t hate your choice in men forever. Later!” Justin said hanging up the phone.
1 Hour Later
“I take it back,” I said as he answered the phone with a ‘hello.’
“Take what back?” Justin asked.
“I didn’t love him,” I replied.
“You didn’t love James Black?” he questioned looking for clarification.
“No,” I sighed. “Don’t get me wrong he is one of the most romantic people I have ever dated. I don’t think any other person has spoiled me with as expensive and as lavish of gifts as he did, but no I didn’t love him. James is right – he wasn’t you. I fell for James because it brought me closer to you. Being with James Black meant being with you. I love you,” I said.
There was silence on the other end.
“Having sex with James Black was amazing. Don’t get me wrong. When I had sex with you there was no emotion involved. It was just sex. Sex with James was different. It was magical. It was everything I wanted, but it wasn’t you. I think I imagined in my head for so many years this perfect life where I married James and you married Timothy. We all lived in this beautiful mansion together. I would bare kids for you and Timothy and then James and I would have a couple of our own. In my mind that was the fantasy, and by dating James I thought I could have that. At the end of the day though, no I was not in love with him. It was never him. It was always you and it always will be,” I explained.
“You do love your husband right?” Justin finally asked.
“Excuse me?”
“Your husband! You’re not just married to him because he’s the next best thing?”
“Do you want to know how I know I’m in love with Kristopher?” I asked annoyed at his question. “Do you want to know the difference between Kris and the others?”
“Yes, please enlighten me.”
“I don’t scream your name when I fuck him,” I said in a cold manner.
“Wow!” Justin exclaimed. “Wow!” he repeated.
“And when I’m with him, it’s not you I’m thinking of. Yes, I am in love with my husband. The question of if I was or not never once crossed my mind.”
“But you weren’t in love with James or Bobby Blue?”
“No,” I answered. “Because every time – every single time – I was with them, I wished it was you …”
Silence
“Do you want to know how I know I love Elliot?” Justin finally asked.
“How?”
“I don’t scream the name Timothy every time we fuck,” Justin said.
“Wow!” I laughed. “We are totally fucked up aren’t we?”
“Beyond fucked up Ms. Mathews!” he laughed in return.
After the Affair
Coming Soon – soon meaning in 20 years because I have YET to finish An Affair of the Mindwhich is the series BEFORE After the Affair but whatever
Click here to read more of this series
After the Affair – The Six Degrees of Seperation
I have thought long and hard about the Theme Song to After the Affair.
Every part has it’s own theme
Part 1 – Lifehouse’s Simon
Part 2 – Fall Out Boy’s Thanks for the Memories
Part 3 – Daughtry’s No Surprise
After the Affair – The Scritp’s Six Degrees of Separation
“Six Degrees Of Separation”
You’ve watched the shows,
What’s the best way no one knows, yeah,
Meditate, get hypnotized.
Anything to take from your mind.
But it won’t go, ohhhh ohhh
You’re doing all these things out of desperation,
Ohhh ohhh,
You’re going through six degrees of separation.You hit the drink, you take a toke
Watch the past go up in smoke, yeah
Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that,
You’re better now than ever, and your life’s okay
When it’s not. No.
You’re doing all these things out of desperation,
Ohhh ohhh,
You’re going through six degrees of separation.First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What’s gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little
(Oh no there ain’t no help, it’s every man for himself)
(No no there ain’t no help, it’s every man for himself)
You tell your friends, yeah, strangers too,
Anyone who’ll throw an arm around you, yeah
Tarot cards
Gems and stones,
Believing all that shit is gonna heal your soul.
Well it’s not, no, wohhhh
You’re only doing things out of desperation,
Ohhh no,
You’re goin’ through six degrees of separation.
First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What’s gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little
No there’s no starting over,
Without finding closure, you’d take them back,
No hesitation,
That’s when you know you’ve reached the sixth degree of separation
Oh, no there’s no starting over,
Without finding closure, you’d take them back,
No hesitation,
That’s when you know you’ve reached the sixth degree of separation
First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What’s gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little
No, no, there ain’t no help
It’s every man for himself
You’re goin’ through six degrees of separation
No, no, there ain’t no help
It’s every man for himself
You’re goin’ through six degrees of separation
No, no, there ain’t no help
It’s every man for himself
But I Don’t Want Your Face On My Facebook
“What?” I asked annoyed crossing my arms across my chest.
“Why are we meeting here again?” he asked confused sitting down in the booth across from me.
“Because I have guests,” I sighed.
“Right,” he laughed. ”And how are those guests working out for you?”
“Fuck off Lenox,” I said with an eye roll.
“Hey I was just asking,” he laughed. ”So did you sign it?”
“Yeah,” I said handing him the paper work.
“Thank you,” he said. ”So when do we go public with our news?”
“Public?” I asked staring back at him with a look of confusion and shock.
“Oh come on Ann Mathews! You have wanted nothing more than to plaster my picture all over your facebook for years! I think today is the day we make our relationship known to the world,” he smiled handing me a photo of us. ”This one is my favorite.”
“No!” I exclaimed pushing the photo back into his face.
“Um, excuse me?” he asked in shock. ”For over ten years you have wanted nothing more than to go and change your facebook profile picture to me and you. So here I am telling you it’s okay, handing you the photo and you’re in return telling me no?”
“That is correct,” I replied.
“You know as well as I do that we can hide a lot of shit. Hell me and you can get away with murder, but this is not something we can get away with.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“You’re serious?” he asked. ”Okay wow! Hold up! Did I miss something? Did something change between us? What the hell is going on?”
“Look Justin, you’re the one thing in my life that is mine. It may sound selfish and fucked up, but you are mine! You’re my secret, and I don’t know I guess I just don’t want that to change.”
“Well .. umm,” he said at a loss for words. ”You know we can’t keep doing this, right?” Justin asked.
“I know, but until the day comes when we absolutely have to tell the world the truth, I think I’d prefer to just keep me and you between just me and you,” I replied.
“Hm,” he said with a smile. ”You’re defiantly not the Ann Mathews I knew ten years ago.”
“And you are for sure not the Justin Lenox I knew ten years ago either.”
After the Affair
Coming Soon – soon meaning in 20 years because I have YET to finish An Affair of the Mind which is the series BEFORE After the Affair but whatever
Click here to read more of this series
We’ve Made A Lot of Mistakes
Warning: The Following Contains AOTM Spoilers! Reader Discretion is Advised!
“Hey,” I sighed sitting down next to him on the curb as the wind blew through our faces. He stared off into space next to me like he was a million miles away. Thought after thought raced through my mind on what could be weighing so heavily on his shoulders.
“Hi,” he finally said quietly looking up at me. “Things sure have changed from five years ago.”
“Yeah, but some things have not,” I replied. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For making you out to be this horrible person. I’m sorry I put that on you. I’m sorry that people hate you because of it.”
“People hate me because of what I’ve done to them not because of what you did or said I did. People hate me because of me. So don’t carry that around on your shoulders, and stop apologizing. I think you and I are both past the “I’m sorry” part of our relationship,” he smiled.
“I’m still sorry. This wasn’t how I pictured us in the year 2012.”
“I don’t think it’s how anybody pictured themselves to be honest. Life sucks and then you die. Simple truth Ann Mathews. Simple truth.”
“But it shouldn’t have to suck!” I exclaimed. “I get that life isn’t rainbows and sunshine like the 16 year old me thought, but god it has to be more than this.”
“Yeah, it does. You’re right life has to amount to something more than gray clouds and cold rain. So the question is now what do we do?”
“Me and you stop fighting and call a truce. Let it go.”
“Let it go?” he laughed. “You and I have lied so much I don’t know what is truth and what isn’t anymore. I was there you know.”
“Huh?” I asked.
“For your 23rd birthday. I was there.”
“I know but you weren’t there too.”
“That was at your request Ann. Remember? Schizophrenic Ann Mathews makes up her lover boy Justin Lenox. It was your story line not mine.”
“I know.”
“I was there for your 23rd birthday. I was there when Joey died. I was there when you needed a friend to pack up your apartment because your relationship with Bobby fell apart. I was there the night you called me after you moved out of Kris’s that night. I was there so maybe when you write your story you can remember to put in that I wasn’t as horrible as a friend as you made me out to be.”
“I’m sorry …”I started to say.
“No!” he exclaimed. “I need to say something and then after I say it we can call a truce.”
“Okay,” I sighed.
“I needed you and you were there for me in High School when I didn’t even realize I needed a friend. You saved my life and I will forever be grateful to you for that. But when we lost our child you weren’t there. You have never acknowledged the fact that you and I lost a child together. I lost a man I thought I was in love with and a child all within a week and the one person I always thought I could count on just wasn’t there. I love you. No let me rephrase I am in love with you. I’ll never ever act on that love for you, but I am in love with you and maybe that’s why Elliot and I aren’t going to last. I have done horrible things and in return you have done the same amount of horrible to me as I have to you. I guess were even. For everything I ever did to you in High School you have come back and got your revenge.”
“Justin I …”
“I’m not done,” he interrupted. “Despite what has been said or what has been done between us at the end of the day you are my best friend. You’re the only person I have ever met who taught me what friendship and love is. I think you have forgotten. I get that you’re not sixteen anymore and everything is no longer rainbows and sunshine but you are the girl who taught me what it meant to be a true friend and what it meant to truly love somebody. So despite what you and I have done to one another, we will call a truce and we will move on and we will write another chapter of this crazy fucked up story of yours. So come on,” he said taking my hand into his.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Home,” he smiled. “We’re going home.”
“And where is home?” I asked.
“I haven’t figured that out yet,” he smiled. “You’re an idiot by the way.”
“Excuse me?” I laughed.
“You have a half a million dollars sitting in a bank account with your name on it, and you won’t touch it. I haven’t figured out if that makes you a saint or an idiot, but I am leading more towards idiot right about now,” he laughed.
Read MoreThe Downfall Of One Lonely Little Man: Let The Drama Begin
This is Part 2 of a 4 Part Series
Now the Fourth of July fell in the middle of the week this year so it made the entire Holiday Weekend rather strange. The hotels were booked both before and after the Fourth so it was a hit or miss which weekend was going to bring in the bucks. So I agreed to work both weekends – both Friday and Saturday. And I did. I even ended up working The Fourth of July. I had plans to go eat dinner with my parents but because Michael called me at 8am that day begging me to come to work (he did always have a way of making it seem like he really needed me when in all out reality he DID NOT need me that day) that night for a couple hours cause the night before was just so busy and they were under staffed. Well of course they were! Everyone had Wednesday off so they went out and got drunk Tuesday. No one has Thursday off so why he thought Wednesday would be busy is beyond me! But I worked it!
After that he asked if I’d work every other weekend and I said yes. Well I think I worked two weekends in a row after the Fourth (which actually equaled four weekends in a row) because Kris’s uncle, Jerald, didn’t want to work it.
Which brings me to Jerald. Michael had about 5 drivers quit after Memorial Day Weekend so Kris knew Jerald and the family needed money so he told Michael to go ahead and hire him if he wanted to. Kris specifically stated to both Michael and Jerald that his personal business is NOT to be mixed with work. Yeah – we should have seen what was about to transpire coming long before it happened.
But back to the Fourth of July weekends – by the time the Holiday rolled around Kris was fed up with Michael. I was wrong in my reaction at first. At first I defended Michael over my own husband and I did so out of pure greed. You know I spent YEARS UPON YEARS telling Justin Lenox that there was more to life than money. I turned him down, I turned James down, I turned EVERYONE down who tried to offer me money and help when I left Bobby Blue in 2008 and here I am 4 years later and I’m defending some dramatic, insecure, lonely, pathetic man over my own husband! Did I learn nothing from Affair of the Mind? What happened to Ann Mathews? It’s like she disappeared and this crazy, money greedy person entered my body and took over. I admit right here, right now on this blog that I should have defended my husband the first time he tried to walk out on Michael.
I don’t know how many times in a month between July and August that Kris threatened to leave the company. Michael and I always convinced him to stay. I will admit my husband gets very irritated at times; however, I should have seen what he was trying to tell me.
I think I first started to see exactly what Kris meant when I went to work for the company beyond just the Holidays. It started out as an every other weekend arrangement (which turned into more than just every other weekend but whatever). Before I continue let me add that the ONLY thing ever required of me was my driver’s license and driving record. I never signed any Independent Contractor agreement or any employment papers.
Each night I worked I saw a little bit more of what Kris meant. Michael was nothing more than a pathological lair. I really have no idea who Michael Wizer is. He said he once worked makeup and hair on Hollywood stars. Then other times he talks about how he is living off of some pension and working for Lakeworth Shuttles is nothing more than just something to pass his time. Other times he actually tells the truth and spills about how he’s on SSDI. He’s gay but has an x wife. He has a daughter who won’t speak to him yet she totally took his car and trashed it. Yes, I have no idea who the real Michael Wizer is and frankly – I don’t want to know.
The real dramatic turn of events starts though with the hiring of a girl named, Megan. She was hired around the same time I was – a little before the Fourth of July. She did exactly what I did – worked the weekends for extra cash. She – like myself – worked for the government as her other job. Her job isn’t nearly as kosher as mine though, but she still works for the government (even if she was hired through a temp. agency). At first, Michael liked her. He even went as far as to say that she could move in with him and take over Justin’s (his old roommate – not to confuse him with MY Justin Lenox of course!) old room.
Ah Justin – Michael’s x-roomate- who probably was more sad and depressed then my own Justin back in the day. He also worked for Lakeworth Shuttle until he eventually moved (or got kicked out but I think he just moved and Michael just wanted to play up the dramatic moment by saying he kicked him out! Oh and no they weren’t romantic lovers. Justin liked girls or so he said anyway). The first weekend I worked for Michael back during Memorial Day Weekend – Justin would come home, smoke pot, and then go back out on the road. Hm, Arizona really needs a Driving Under the Influence of Medical Marijuana law (at least that’s my opinion anyway).
Anyway back to Megan, so as the days went on for some reason unknown to me, Michael had a change of heart when it came to her. All of a sudden, Megan wasn’t good enough. Now I will admit – not everyone is cut out for the Shuttle business, but instead of trying to help her, Michael for unknown reasons decided to start a war.
It’s like I was in High School all over again. That’s exactly how Michael made me feel. It brought me back to the good old days – when I was oh so nice to Sean McGovern to his face but yet Justin Lenox would call me and we’d sit there on the phone for hours and hours bitching about how we despise Sean McGovern. Yes, that’s EXACTLY what talking to Michael reminded me of. Here he is a grown man – in his forty’s probably – acting like a high school drama queen. At first it was amusing (I mean come on – deep down my name is Ann Mathews) but I’m not 16 years old anymore!! I have had my fair share of drama and the last thing I neither want nor need is some 40+ year old sitting here acting like some high school drama student when I’m trying to actually work for a living!
Michael probably thought it’d be funny to spread a little rumor around amongst the drivers that Megan was a drug dealer and strung out on drugs. In his opinion – she looked like one, and she must be one because she sucks at her job. Really? First off – driving a shuttle company is NOT for everyone! And second off – she works for the County of Lakeworth! Temp or not – you do NOT get a job with the County of Lakeworth WITHOUT passing an extensive drug and background check. And three – well, past exposure – she’s not a drugy!
I’m sure there is some sort of story behind why Michael really hated Megan. I would love to hear it one day, but at the end of it all – Michael has got to be the most unprofessional person (next to Marco who gave Tom a blow job in the bathroom of Jewel back in the day) I have ever had the ungodly pleasure of working with! HE LOVES DRAMA!!! He reminds me of the old me. Yes, I said it! I went there! He reminds me of me! Ya know back in the old high school days. The Ann Mathews – manipulating, lying, bitch who would do anything for the love and affection of one Justin Lenox. Yeah that was me! But there is a main difference between me and Michael – I grew up and he’s still stuck in the dramatic high school days. Maybe he spent far too much time out in Hollywood with all the over the top, dramatic, ‘oh my god’ gays (well if that story was even true).
The point being – HE LOVES DRAMA!! He loves it! He thrives off of it!! And he loves to play the role of the lying, manipulating, backstabbing cunt! However little does Michael know that there is only ONE person in the Affair of the Mind Series that gets the role of being the ultimate backstabbing, lying, manipulating cunt and his name is NOT Michael Wizer!
The Downfall Of One Lonely Little Man: The Beginning
This is Part 1 of a 4 Part Series
So you all might want to grab some popcorn, a nice refreshing soda and please make sure you use the facilities before continuing to read the remainder of this blog entry. If you ever had the pleasure of reading my prior blog titled SarahMarkham.Com – you are going to love this series!
Please note: the following IS meant to piss people off! It is my opinion and my opinion alone (however I’m sure I can find a hand full of people who would agree with me – my husband being one). Due to legal reasons (don’t want a repeat of 2009), the names, companies and locations described in this blog entry are fictional and represent the fictional names, companies and locations as depicted in the highly anticipated sequel to Affair of the Mind called After the Affair (I always said if you piss me off – you end up a character in my story) however the events are NOT fiction and if you have a brain I am sure one could put two and three together and figure it out.
Now without further ado let me tell you the story of one lonely man’s downfall.
It was May 2012 – that’s when this story TRULY begins! Kristopher Hall (I’ll tell you who Kristopher is – It’s Cory! I mean come on people – u can at least figure that one out right?) got a job with this cab company in Lakeworth, Arizona (I’ll give you this one too – Lakeworth = Lake Havasu! Come on people! Maybe you need to exchange that soda for a coffee so you wake up a bit!) called Lakeworth Shuttles (I know how boring! But whatever!). It had been his first job in over four years (read After the Affair for the background story on that one! I can’t give it all away in this dang blog posting!) and he was rather excited/nervous about it. The job seemed perfect! Kris is not a morning person so working a job that consists of mostly nights is music to his ears. Now me on the other hand – I wasn’t too happy about it.
Kris and I had been together nearly two years and in those two years he had never worked (unless you count working for his mother’s t-shirt design business work …) and I guess it would be safe to say that I was set in my ways; however, we needed the money! It was either Cory go work nights at Lakeworth Shuttles or go to extreme measures (we all know I’ll never take Justin’s money! So you can all just shut up right now!) < — (the “extreme measures” part is a joke by the way! Gosh people! Humor!!). Anyway I told Kris that we needed like $200 and then we’d be fine. Ya know – just go work a couple shifts, get some money and be done with it. But Kris wanted to prove to me that he could do more than just ‘work a couple shifts.’ Besides in the beginning he actually really enjoyed it and in the beginning the money was good. I guess one could say I kind of was getting ‘money greedy.’ We for once in the two years we had been together (okay I take that back – we had money the first couple of months we were together) had never been so financially better off.
However thinking back now – I kind of wish Kris would have just gone, worked Memorial Day weekend, and then called it a day!
But like Michael Wizer always use to say “It is, what it is!” :p
Now we all know I work for the government, and when Kris told me about this job and the way it was set up I knew right then something wasn’t right. There was no formal application, no formal employee papers, no formal tax papers, and they were calling him an ‘independent contractor’ when in all out reality that is far from what he was. But I kept my mouth shut. We needed the money. I figured worse comes to worse at the end of the year we’ll just claim the extra income on our tax return. But I knew somewhere in the back of my mind what Lakeworth Shuttles was doing was not only wrong but downright illegal.
And then I got involved. Memorial Day Weekend rolled around and Michael Wizer (Kris’s “unofficial” boss) asked if I was interested in helping him dispatch out calls. Apparently out of all the tens of other cab companies in Lakeworth (ya know for such a small ass town we sure have a lot of shuttle/cab companies which I have yet to really figure out why but whatever) Lakeworth Shuttles was the only company that had dispatch service. I agreed to do it. Again – it was more money. So it was me, Michael, and this girl named Aerial (who according to Michael works on and off as a cab driving for them).
Ya know I went home after working with Michael those 3 days I ended up working and said to myself “this is why I don’t work retail!” Drama!! Drama!! Drama!! Now we all know I love my fair share of drama, but after the entire incident with Meri Richards and Jewel I try to distance myself from workplace drama. Yet here I was smack dab in the middle of it and I didn’t even have a fair warning.
It was Friday, May 25th – that’s the first day I worked for Lakeworth Shuttles. I went in under the impression that it was a onetime thing. So really why would there be any point in me filling out paper work and whatnot for them. It was a onetime thing and I wouldn’t make enough money in those two nights (it ended up being three but I’ll get to that later) to even care about taxes and whatnot. I went in under the impression that dispatchers make 10% of the driver’s gross. Well I guess I was wrong under my assumption (either Michael misinformed Kris when he explained it to him or Kris misheard. I’ll go with the first choice!) because it was dispatchers make 10% of the average driver gross which really doesn’t amount to much and really was not worth the three 12 hour shifts I put into it. But I have to admit – when all was said and done – Michael ended up paying me far more than I deserved. Probably because I did bitch about it to him. I must admit – when I first met Michael he was nice – dramatic, over the top but then again must gays are.
Oh I forgot to mention – yes, Michael is one of the “peeps!” The stays in his house, doesn’t come to events peeps but none the less – he is a part of the LGBT community.
So that weekend I was only supposed to work Friday and Saturday night. It wasn’t that easy for me on Friday. I am not sixteen years old anymore!! Working an 8-5 and then getting off and working 7-5am was not easy (even if all I did was sit there and dispatch) but nonetheless, I did it! So Arial worked with Michael and I on Friday night. The two of them sat there for most of the night bitching about how this one employee (opps … sorry contractor! That is what they are right?) named Karen was stealing money from the company in their eyes, was horrible at hustling, yada yada yada! They basically were sitting there and being little high school drama queens. It got so bad that there were times when Michael turned the phones off and stopped taking calls. He was so into the ‘drama’ he just forgot he actually had a job to do. He was like that a lot though. He probably causes the company hundreds of dollars a week because he’ll get so wrapped up in drama and spreading it that he won’t answer the phones. I don’t know how many times I can count when I was over at his house in the past two months alone and he ignored the phone because he was talking to me about something or another.
Anyway back to Memorial Day Weekend, Saturday the 26th Arial didn’t show. She didn’t call in, she didn’t text, she didn’t email – she just flat out didn’t show (well later on we found out she was in the ER for something – can’t remember what – which explains why she didn’t show, but seriously no text or anything … hmm … fishy!). So Michael begged me to come in Sunday and work with him. I wasn’t going too originally because I had promised my parents I’d take them to the Hoover Dam Monday mid-morning. Well I talked my parents out of going to the Hoover Dam. I mean really come on now – Hoover Dam on Memorial Day! Are we crazy? So I told Michael I’d work the shift with him Sunday.
Memorial Day weekend brought in tons of money! Enough that we were able to pay off our rental deposit on the duplex we had just moved into a little over a month prior. We were happy!! The money was good so Kris decided to stick it out and I decided that I was okay with it.
He went on a schedule of Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday’s from 6pm-5am (it really was 5pm cause Michael always had him stop by his ‘base’ (dispatcher base) and pick up radios to take to the ‘yard base’ (where the vans were) on his way into work). At first it was okay and then Michael started asking more of Kris. Asking him to pick up fares but not marking them down on his sheet or to pick up somebody but he’d be reimbursed for them later. Or my favorite – taking the owners drunken friends home and then taking them their cars in the morning (didn’t realize that was in the job description!). Yes, as time slowly went on Michael started asking more and more of Kris that was not in the original job description.
And then a couple weekends before the Fourth of July he was asked to cover a weekend shift, and Kris said yes. But it seemed after that one time he agreed to do it, Michael just assumed he would. Let’s just admit it – Kris was good at his job! He knew how to hustle, he got great tips, and he was pleasant to the customers. Kris was good for the company, but Kris didn’t want to be pushed around. He wanted a job that he went to, got paid and came home. Not a job where he was thrown into the drama of it all which is exactly what Michael always did.
Kris was starting to get burnt out from the job by the time the Fourth of July came around. Michael has that effect on people I assume. But I told him to stick it out (I really did like the money). By this time, we had paid off every deposit we owed and were finally starting to be able to have extra money to do things. We had a savings again, a piggy jar and money to do things like rent a jet ski for a day just cause we can. I liked the freedom and I know Kris did too which is why he stuck it out. And it’s also why I agreed to work as a driver on the Fourth of July weekend.
AOTM Celebrity Cast List
Okay NOW I have to do it!! At least let me have fun with the main characters of Affair of the Mind!!
Here is my celebrity cast list for who I could TOTALLY picture playing the main characters in Affair of the Mind – if it were ever made into a movie (which means I TOTALLY need to finish the book because it TOTALLY needs to be made into a movie). The list isn’t based SO much on looks than it is on attitude. For example – Josh Randolph REALLY DOES look like Neil Patrick Harris but Tom Lenal doesn’t so much look like Shia LaBeouf but I can picture these actors taking on the role of these characters and with their attitude and charisma fitting the part perfectly.
Affair of the Mind – Official 2012 Celebrity Cast List (Main Characters Only)
Nina Dobrev as Ann Mathews
Ian Somerhalder as Justin Lenox
Robert Pattinson as James Black
Adam Lambert as Timothy Edwards
Shia LaBeouf as Tom Lenal
Neil Patrick Harris as Josh Randolph
Ashley Tisdale As Amber Brooks
David Giuntoli as Bobby Blue
After the Affair (Additional Main Characters added to the sequel series to AOTM)
Chad Michael Murray as Kristopher Hall
Justin Timberlake as Elliot Charles
And there you have it folks my Main Character casting for Affair of the Mind and After the Affair!
Now you all want the real life names of the characters huh?
Not gonna happen!!
Love ya though!
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Hope: It Changes You
They say High School changes a person. ”It’s the building blocks for the rest of your life,” is what I was told my Freshman year. But what they fail to tell you is that it’s not just High School that changes a person. It’s your choices. It’s a choice. One choice compiled after a serious of other choices that lead you to the life you have now.
I made a choice. I made one choice and ten years later I can honestly say it was the building block that shaped me into who I am today.
High School – it changes a person.
I feel like Payton Sewer in Season Five of One Tree Hill (yes here we go again with the One Tree Hill analysis) where she comes back to Tree Hill and tells Lucas how she feels lost. She use to be ‘brave’ and now she’s not so brave anymore. She use to be ‘fearless’ (that’s the word she used) but somewhere in the last four years between High School and College she lost that braveness. She stopped being fearless.
I use to be fearless. I use to write up a blog entry and even the thought of re-reading it over and editing it before I hit the post button was to me the route of all things evil. I never would have dreamed that the word ‘edit’ or ‘private’ would be in my vocabulary. Yet they are. Each and every day.
But like Payton in Season Five, I have hope. Hope that things are going to work out exactly how they are supposed to work out.
They say High School changes a person, but maybe it’ just the people you meet ..
Sarah A Hall
Read MoreYeah I’ll Regret That In The Morning – Part 2
Warning: The Following Contains AOTM Spoilers! Reader Discretion is Advised!
Read MoreYeah, I’ll Regret That In The Morning
Warning: The Following Contains AOTM Spoilers! Reader Discretion is Advised!
Read MoreA True Friend Will Always Be There
“Why do people always disappoint you?” I asked.
“That’s just life Ms. Mathews. People will always disappoint you. Always! Even with the best intentions at heart, they will always disappoint. Who are we talking about?” he asked sincerely into the other line.
“Just people in general. It’s like those who you are supposed to be able to count on, just aren’t there when you need them.”
“Yeah, trust me, I know,” he replied.
Silence.
“Except you Ann Mathews, you were always there for me. You disappointed me once, and compared to everyone else in my life that’s a perfect score,” he said breaking the silence. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when I should have been.”
“You’re there now. That’s all that matters.”
“You going to be okay, Ms. Mathews? You seem sad. Usually you would have corrected me by now in stating your name was no longer Ms. Mathews,” he laughed.
“I love you, Justin, but you shouldn’t be that person. You shouldn’t be the person I call when my life falls apart, but here we are.”
“I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. You were always there for me, Ann, and I hope you know that I’ll always be here for you even if I shouldn’t be the one who is.”
“I saw your sister today,” I stated bluntly and out of the blue.
“Oh did you now,” he laughed. “I knew there was an ulterior motive for this phone call besides you wanting to cry to someone.”
“I did, and the baby! She’s adorable!” I exclaimed.
“Eh, ours would have been cuter.”
“You’re such an ass!” I laughed.
“So where did you see her?”
“She came by looking for the Lakeworth WIC Office,” I said. “I’m the go to girl you know. They always come to me first.”
“Mommy and Daddy don’t pay her enough that she has to use our tax dollars for WIC?” he scoffed. “Poor child! That lazy, no good husband of hers doesn’t do much either.”
“Oh stop being so mean! I didn’t mention it to start a family riff; I just was saying that I saw your sister. It was interesting.”
“I’m sure it was,” he laughed.
Silence
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“I’ll live,” I replied.
“I’ll always be here for you Ms. Mathews. Always.”
“Thank you. It means a lot,” I said. “You know I never thought it’d be me and you. That we’d be the ones to still be friends after all was said and done.”
“Me either,” he sighed. “But here we are.”
“Yeap here we are!” I laughed. “Me and you! Together forever!”
“Oh now Ms. Mathews! Forever is a long time, and I do have commitment issues. So maybe we should just leave the forever out of the equation.”
“Fine! Whatever you say Mr. Lenox,” I replied mockingly back.
A Friend – The one person who is always there for you! No questions asked!
After the Affair
Coming Soon – soon meaning in 20 years because I have YET to finish An Affair of the Mind which is the series BEFORE After the Affair but whatever
Click here to read more of this series
The Awkward Turning Conversation
WARNING: The following contains An Affair of the Mind Spoilers and sexually descriptive content !! Reader discretion is advised!
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The Conversation Continues
“Well?” I asked
“Yeah, I think people are going to get the wrong idea about us.”
“What do you mean?’
“Well, Ms. Mathews, in case you have forgotten I am gay and you are a closeted lesbian. So I think the image of the guy and girl standing there like that is going to leave people with the wrong impression.”
“Oh dear lord!” I exclaimed in frustration. “I am not a closeted lesbian! I am married to a man!!”
“Yeah a gay man!” he laughed.
“Oh I swear to God if you didn’t live five hours away I’d be at your house right now beating some damn sense into you!”
“You know I liked it when you were dating Bobby. At least back then I could joke about your sexuality. Now you’re too serious all the time.”
“Oh whatever!! Besides the fact that you think people are going to get the ‘wrong impression,” I said impersonating him. “Do you like it?”
“Eh, it’s okay!”
“Whatever! I don’t need your opinion anyway! It’s my website!”
“Then why did you call and ask for it?”
“I didn’t!” I exclaimed hanging up the phone.
10 Minutes Later
“What?” I yelled into the phone.
“Well I was re-looking over this photo and I am assuming that I represent the guy and you represent the girl,” he started to say.
“Wow! Did you come to that conclusion all by yourself? Amazing!” I exclaimed sarcastically.
“Whatever,” he snapped. “Am I really that fat?”
“Oh my god!! Good bye Justin!”
“No I’m serious!” he whined.
“Good bye!!” I said hanging up the phone AGAIN!
After the Affair
Coming Soon – soon meaning in 20 years because I have YET to finish An Affair of the Mind which is the series BEFORE After the Affair but whatever
Click here to read more of this series
The Horror Story
Today’s topic: Moral Sanity and The Riddle
“Yes?” I said into the phone line.
“Do you ever wonder if the reason you have had the many dreams over the years of me killing you by pushing you up against the wall and slitting your throat with a knife has anything to do with The Riddle?” Justin asked into the phone.
“I do wonder. Or maybe it’s because you have pushed me up against the wall and held knives to my throat? Hm, I don’t know. Maybe it’s one of those reasons,” I said sarcastically.
“Funny,” he replied. “You’re story is rather morbid too. May I add. I’m sitting here re-reading it now. Since you finally decided after ten years to start writing it back up again,” he said with humor in his voice.
“Yeah well I wonder where I got the story idea from?”
“Hey now! No No! Don’t you dare think you’re going to blame me for your mind coming up with a creepy ass story like this. Nope nope!!”
“Oh whatever! Justin Lenal is based off of you! He’s just a darker, eviler version,” I replied.
“No!! No!” Justin exclaimed. “The Original Riddle was based off of me. I admit that, but this re-write of yours is no where near based off of me.”
“Whatever,” I said with an eye roll.
“Well it’s true. The Original Justin Lenal was just a love struck teenger with some daddy issues. This Justin Lenal is psychotic.”
“Yeah and the original Justin Lenox was just some love struck teenager with daddy issues too, and look how that turned out.”
“Somebody is really being a smart ass tonight, aren’t they?” Justin replied.
“I learn from the best.”
“Right,” he said. “I forgot that thing you call a husband. What is his name again?”
“Kris! His name is Kris!” I exclaimed.
“Right, well maybe I’d actually remember his name if I was invited to your wedding!”
“Oh dear god!” I exclaimed in frustration. “We are not on that topic again are we?”
“Whatever. I’m still going to wear a dress at your next wedding. I know they’ll be a next.”
“Yeah when I decide to re-new my vows to my husband!” I exclaimed.
“Hmmm, well anyway, so I do have to admit I love the Sarah Mathews head being put on Tommy’s drive way. Nice touch!”
“Thanks,” I replied. “I did enjoy writing that scene.”
“Do you ever question your moral sanity? I mean who writes a story about a guy killing and dissecting other human beings because he gets off on it? And to top it off the guy is a gay sex whore.”
“Yeah well I never said I had moral sanity now did I?” I questioned with a laugh.
“Point taken.”
Ann Mathews (Hall) and Justin Lenox – The Story Continues
After the Affair
Coming Soon – soon meaning in 20 years because I have YET to finish An Affair of the Mind which is the series BEFORE After the Affair but whatever
Click here to read more of this series
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Coming Soon - read and view photos, blogs, and videos from the years 1999-2010 (formally known as SarahMarkham.Com)
