May 19th, 2005 was like a fairy tale only my fairy tale never did seem to have a happy ending. I had finally graduated high school, and the summer of 2005 would turn out to be one of the best summers of my life. The summer of 2005 between graduation and leaving for Tucson, Arizona was filled with drama, lies, sex and manipulation. Never before had I manipulated so many people the way I had that summer and never again would I be able to say I had a hand in helping the largest drug cartel in all of Lakeworth County escape federal prosecution. And it all started Graduation night 2005 …
I took a deep breath as I looked around Project Graduation that took place every year down under the bridge where the heart of Lakeworth, Arizona lye. I had finally graduated high school, was with a man I thought I was madly in love with and who honestly loved me back without conditions or restraints. I was also about to accept entrance into the University of Arizona in Tucson, Arizona a town five hours away that I had never once stepped foot in. I was over whelmed with fear and excitement.
Truth be told, I had had yet to tell anyone I was going to UofA. I had also yet to convince Amber that she needed to accompany me to Tucson, Arizona. I knew Bobby Blue would go. He was in love and wherever I wanted to attended college he would move heaven and Earth to make sure he was right there beside me. But to convince Amber that she needed to come with me to a town neither of us knew a thing about would take a little more work. But I knew I had to do it. I couldn’t leave Amber in the aftermath of whatever mess Justin and I would leave. Amber was my best friend, and out of everyone she deserved her freedom.
Amber was the only one that summer who knew about Justin and me. Everyone else thought I hated his guts, and I think I did a pretty good job of pretending to. Amber wasn’t fond of Justin but she knew all our secrets, and despite the fact she hated Justin for treating me the way he did, she knew I was in love with him and no matter the logic behind it I would do anything for Justin Lenox.
“Hey darling,” Justin said walking up behind me as Amber and I watched with excitement as Tommy and Bobby stood in line to ride the mechanical bull at Project Grad. Justin wore a long black trench coat, black pants, and a hat to disguise himself in the crowd. “Walk with me,” he whispered in my ear.
“Hey, Amber, I’ll be right back,” I whispered to her as she turned around to see Justin’s shadow standing behind us. “Tell Tom and Bobby when they are done riding the bull that I went to the bathroom.”
“Whatever,” Amber said with an eye roll yet again lying for me.
“I wasn’t sure you’d show up, Mr. Lenox?” I laughed hugging him and walking away from the crowd that stood around the bull pen.
“Oh come on Ms. Mathews, you know I wouldn’t miss my best friend’s graduation party now would I?” Justin laughed. “Besides, this high school amuses me. I so far have seen Tom, Jessi, Sean, and even Remmy somewhere in this mix. It’s never a dull moment when it comes to Lakeworth High School.”
“Right, well you just stay out of trouble. You hear me?”
“Me? Trouble? Never!” Justin laughed. “So, how are things going?” Justin asked as we sat down on a bench outside the gates of Project Grad.
“Mm, ok but I have a question for you, who the hell is Scott and Lenard?”
“Ah, I see you two have met. I’m glad,” Justin smiled condescendingly.
“I met Scott. He came to our coffee night gatherings Tuesday. So how much are you paying those two to separate while you fuck Scott’s boyfriend?”
“Mm… you know me too well. I’m paying them enough. That’s all you need to know. I need you to believe him. I need you to tell him anything he asks you no matter who’s around. I’ll contact you in a month or so, and that’s when you stop believing him.”
“Why would I stop believing him?” I asked. “From what he has said so far he is exactly correct. You are nothing but a lying, manipulating, boyfriend stealing, drug dealing whore.”
“Well true but like you said, he is on my pay roll so you can’t believe everything he says. Now can you?” Justin smiled.
“You just make sure you don’t fuck Brandon too much that Tim decides not to come back. I know you Justin, and I know you crave sex. Don’t fuck up your relationship with Tim for revenge on everyone else,” I advised him.
“Don’t worry, Brandon isn’t nearly as good in bed as Tim,” Justin smirked.
“You make me sick sometimes Lenox!” I exclaimed.
“Did you convince Ms. Amber and Mr. Bobby to move with you yet?” Justin asked.
“I’m working on it. I’m sure I won’t have any problems with Bobby. It’s Amber you got to worry about,” I explained.
“Well, you let me know if there’s any way I can per sway her.”
“Sweetie, she hates you so why would you be able to per sway her?” I laughed.
“I have my ways,” Justin said getting up from the bench. “Now you head back down to your little boy toy and friends. I wouldn’t want Bobby to find us together. Everyone needs to think we hate each other. For now anyway,” Justin said.
“When can I tell the truth?” I asked. “I’m so sick of lying for you.”
“You can tell the truth when the handcuffs are off my wrists. I’ll see ya around,” Justin said walking away.
As I walked back towards where my friends stood, Bobby came walking towards me in laughter. “Remmy Alan, cracks me up,” he exclaimed referring to a conversation he just had with him.
“Yeah, good old Remmy,” I said with an eye roll.
“You know, this may sound odd but I say we help Scott,” Bobby suggested referring to my conflict of helping Scott bring down Justin Lenox.
“Okay. Where shall we start?” I asked taking his hand.
“Let’s research him. There has to be something about Justin Lenox somewhere that can help us destroy him.”
“Well, he does work for the school district. Their records are public. We could start there. I suppose you’re right. If we don’t help, who will?”
“It’s up to you,” Bobby said.
“I’m in. I’ll post on my blog tonight that I’m willing to help take down Justin Lenox.”
As I said the words, I questioned in my mind my actions. Here I was saying how I was madly in love with Bobby and even willing to move across state with him, yet I was lying to him. I was leading him to believe that Justin and I hated each other. I was lying to the man I swore I loved so I could help a criminal escape federal prosecution on crimes he did in deed commit. In that moment there was a part of me that wanted to really bring down Justin for all he had done. There was a part of me that would have loved to of seen handcuffs placed around his wrist, but there was also a part of me that was so madly in love with him the thought of him spending one night behind bars brought tears to my eyes.
Later that night I had talked to both Bobby and Amber and had convinced them to move to Tucson with me in less than 3 months. The actions of that night also lead into motion the events that would soon follow regarding Justin and Jame’s escape, my departure from Lakeworth, and Bobby’s hatred of a man named Jeffery. The actions of that night would also find me in less than five months faced with a decision of either helping to bring down one of Lakeworth’s most hated and most wanted or to help the man I considered my best friend get away with murder.
It is with great sadness that I inform you all that we lost a dear member of our family Saturday night. Spiky was the first pet Cory and I ever got together.
He was greatly loved and will be missed dearly. We honestly have no idea what happened. I fed them a carrot like I do every morning on Saturday. Saturday was a busy day. Suddenlink came and installed new Tivo boxes for us and then Cory and I left to go see The Great Gatsby with the parents (it was a good movie by the way. The book of course is always better and the movie totally left out the love story of Nick and Ms. Baker but whatever) and then we went to dinner at McDonald’s. When we came home we watched some TV and I went to close the blinds above the pig cage and moved their food bowl. Ms. Piggy moved but Spiky didn’t move and I found it odd. He was laying inside their big pink igloo. I mean he has laid in there before but whenever I move their food bowl or try and pick them up he always moves. I went and moved the igloo but he didn’t move. I knew then something was wrong and he more than likely passed away. I told Cory to come over and Cory confirmed it.
Spiky was always mute. He never did talk the entire time we had him. Ms. Piggy talked for the both of them so if something was wrong we wouldn’t have known.
I just hope he passed away in his sleep and wasn’t in any pain.
We will miss you Spiky!
R.I.P – Spiky Hall 2010-2013
Ps – Ms. Piggy is doing ok. She misses her buddy but she’s still her piggy self. We think she’ll be fine. I thought about getting another but Cory said no cause we honestly don’t have the time to dedicate to bringing a new one into our home at the moment. Maybe later though. For the moment – Ms. Piggy is ok – as long as she has her food. She is a pig after all.
He makes it sound like all I have to do is go hit this magical button and everything will just lay itself out like it’s supposed to, but sadly that’s not how life works
“I think you spend too much time separating yourself from Ann Mathews. You’re Sarah stop trying to pretend Ann and you are two different people. This isn’t part 3 anymore. You can stop playing the crazy schizophrenic.” – Justin
Okay another one of Sarah’s not so brilliant ideas. I wanted an ending to Affair of the Mind. A believable one to satisfy not only those who actually believed me (like Amber Brooks) but to satisfy those that never would (like Tom Lenal). So I said I made it up. I separated Ann Mathews and Sarah Markham-Hall the day I told Tom, Amber and Joey that I was a crazy schizophrenic and there really was no Justin Lenox.
“I’m going to be blunt – Joey is dead, Amber and you don’t talk anymore and you probably never will, and Tom Lenal is Tom Lenal. He’s always going to be so wrapped up in himself that he’ll never notice anyone besides his own shadow. Timothy made a point that night we had dinner – no one gives a shit. So just post it. Post it all. Who cares if names are decoded to depict their character name or if it makes since to anyone – just post it because honestly no one besides Ms. Jackson is going to ever read your entire blog archive from beginning to end and if they do – they must really love you.” – Justin Lenox
I don’t think my hesitation to post the Archives as one person has anything to do with the past. I can go and post those blogs from 1999 – 2009 right now. It’s the blogs after that. The last three years’ worth that I’m not ready to discuss.
I’m not ready to re-post the blogs regarding Kris and I’s relationship in the beginning, the trials and fears of dating an HIV+ man. I’m not ready to re-post the story of Lambert Elliot and what really happened with drugs, illegal pregnancies and Elliot landing in prison. I’m not ready to re-post the entries dealing with the downfall of Amber Brooks and Ann Mathews. I’m not ready to discuss Joey Scott’s death and the emotions behind losing my best friend so quickly. And I am for sure not ready to openly admit my relationship with Justin Lenox since the loss of our child.
So maybe it’s not about the archives that talk about Part 2, about the death of Michael Hart, about my downfall with Mary at Jewel or even about my failed relationship with Bobby Blue. It’s not about that. It’s not even about James Black and how throughout my entire relationship with Bobby all I kept wondering and praying for was for James to come back and chose ME over drugs. I’m ready to re-live the mistakes I made with my family, my time in juvi, and even what it was like to pretend to be a schizophrenic.
But I’m NOT ready to re-live the past three years.
So maybe it’s not about Ann Mathews vs Sarah Markham-Hall in the context that you think it is. It took me 7 years to be able to honestly sit down and write what I have so far of AOTM and what happened with Michael. So I’m sure it’s going to take another 7 years to open up about the past three years of my life.
“I think at the end of the day you have to stop caring about what everyone else thinks and just be you. You once told me ‘don’t let the world bring you down’ so Sarah – don’t let the world bring you down either.” – Justin
Maybe in order to face our fear we need to just embrace it.
But Mr. Lenox – sometimes it’s not as easy as hitting a button.
I have a question to ask of all you and well I need advice. So I am hoping all of those who read this blog (which I know is a lot because I do check my stats every day) actually take the time and courage to comment on this one. I promise – for one blog I’ll let the ill will go and won’t hold anything against you. I just want your opinion – whether you and I dislike each other is irrelevant.
My name is Sarah A Hall (also known to some as Sarah Markham) but my name is also Ann Mathews. At the beginning of 2013, I bought the affairofthemind.com domain with the anticipation of putting all things related to Affair of the Mind on that website. That included the story, the meet the character pages, and the famous Diary of Ann Mathews.
When I first started my website in 2005, it was to tell the truth. Affair of the Mind was never meant to become this over the top, crazy, out there fictional story that in the end it sadly became. I had a goal of posting the truth whether it was through re-posting all my old blog entries on my website publicly or through the writing of a story – I just wanted to tell the truth despite the consequences. But then Part 2 happened.
Part 2 isn’t real – come on! Really? Have you read Part 2? Of course not I haven’t written it yet but if you were my loyal fan between the years 2006 – 2008, you know that the bullshit written within the contents of what is now known as the Diary of Ann Mathews is complete bullshit.
Okay fine – Part 2 wasn’t our greatest idea in the world. I probably wouldn’t be here writing this blog entry right now if it weren’t for Part 2, but none the less it happened and truth be told – I had the greatest time writing it.
But now I’m stuck at a dilemma – do I continue all things related to Affair of the Mind on the Affair of the Mind site or do I post the Diary of Ann Mathews on Sarahahall.com because after all – despite Part 2 being full of bullshit – they are MY PERSONAL diaries.
I wrote them! I lived them! You can change the names and locations all you want at the end of the day – the Diary of Ann Mathews is the diary of Sarah Markham-Hall.
Ann Mathews is me. There is no way around that but do I separate us? Is Ann Mathews a different person than Sarah A Hall? Or do I combine them into one and post all diaries on this website?
I am open for advice people. How do I tell the world my story without sounding like some crazy, schizophrenic? Granted half of you believe me to be the crazy schizophrenic so I suppose it doesn’t matter at the end of the day but one day when I do have a child of my own – how do I want my website to tell that child the story of Ann Mathews and Sarah Markham-Hall? How do I want them to remember Affair of the Mind?
I have a blog archive dating from 1999 to present that I plan to post online for everyone to read one day – the question remains: how do I explain it? Because Justin Lenox changed my life. He changed EVERYTHING and now I’m left with trying to still protect and hold onto that relationship while at the same time setting myself free by finally telling the world what truly happened between us.
So Sunday we went to La Vita Dolce for Mother’s Day dinner. It was amazingness!! Omg! Cory and I both got the Salmon Wellington (which they only seem to have on special occasions). It was so worth the $28! This was one meal I didn’t regret eating after I saw the bill.
It was so worth it – you got a salad, a glass of champagne, the dinner and the desert! I <3 their Tiramisu! It is also awesomeness!
I just love the restaurant period! We usually go on Monday’s with our 2 for $20 coupon – you get a free appetizer and two entries for $20. Cause they are kind of pricy but totally worth it.
But yeah it was a nice dinner. It was Cory and I, Pops, Mem, Grandma and Todd.
I of course was the joke of the night with my tongue ties. Let me explain – first off I said I wanted soup with Italian dressing. I MEANT SALAD! Then Cory gave me the impression the champagne was served warm. I don’t like warm champagne so I asked the waiter if it was cold or not. Lol! Argh! Yeah I was the joke of the night. I know ‘gullible isn’t in the dictionary.’ I will never live that one down – I know.
Anyway so Suddenlink came and gave us a new modem yesterday. All weekend I kept having to reset the modem every hour. It was annoying. So they had a tech come out and replace it yesterday and also finally hook up cable in the guest bedroom. Anyway no one is hacking our modem – I can barely get on with their damn 20-30 character password. Insaneness! And we also broke down and got a DVR. So we’ll probably be getting rid of Hulu since we have a DVR now. But having a DVR – do u know what that means? It means I can record Adam Lambert tomorrow on the Idol finale and watch it over and over and over all summer long … muah muah muah! Well okay not really cause Saturday they are coming to give us Tivos (its the same price) which means a new box – so I have till Saturday to watch him over and over … haha! They have to do a seperate install for the tivos (I don’t know why) and THEY have to do it too. They didn’t charge us for yesterday but they’ll charge $25 for Saturday. Whatever! The whole Tivo thing sounded cool and it’s the same price so blah. But yeah – we are backing to the ‘cable’ world. We went a year with no cable – just Hulu and Netflix and while yes you can do it – it is nice to have a DVR and be able to record certain shows NOT on Hulu (like all CBS and TNT shows). So we’ll get rid of Hulu but we are keeping Netflix.
After TWO years I am FINALLY on the last season of One Tree Hill! I know craziness! I <3 that show though! It is awesomeness! All the woman on there (well mostly all) are totally on my celebrity crush list. Jana Kramer (who plays Alex) is a really good singer. I didn’t realize she had an album out and a country album at that. I went and got it yesterday – it’s pretty cool.
Well we FINALLY finished organizing our new place!! We got all the pictures hung, the rooms organized and the house is spotless. : ) I must say this is probably the nicest place I have ever lived (since graduating highschool). I have lived in apartment after apartment and duplexes but never a house. So it’s nice to have a place that is all ours. You can see all the pics of our new place by clicking here
So here’s a run down of Cory and I’s weekend thus far:
I spent Friday night cleaning up the house and then Saturday we woke up around 8 and started putting the final touches on it. We hung up all the pictures, finished organizing the guest bedroom and got the office put together. So we are officially done. I mean somewhere along the way we will re-organize – we usually do. : )
Anyway after we finished the house we stopped by the LGBT Picnic down at Rotary. It was fun to see the peeps again. I really gotta get back out there and hang out with people again. I miss my gang!! It’s always fun times hanging out with them. We didn’t stay long as we had to come home to start the bread for the spaghetti bread we were cooking my parents for dinner.
After we left the park we went to Lowe’s and bought plants. I got Fred – my new house plant for the office. It was the only room without a plant – so we had to get Fred.
After that I came home and put the bread on and while it cooked I went to Walmart to get some stuff.
Then the parents came over. It was the first time they had a chance to see our new place.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful Mother’s out there!!
I have two dogs – that’s my Mother’s Day. And two pigs and five fish … oh and Edward the cat! He’s still mine even though my parents adopted him.
I don’t have kids … I almost somewhat did but despite what Mr. Timothy Edwards says – it never happened.
Do I want kids? That’s a question I have asked myself for years and never really have an answer for. I really did like the concept of giving my egg away to my gay best friend and his husband and having them raise my child. But I doubt that option is on the table now.
I’m not good with kids. I never have been. When I was with Robert, I didn’t want kids period. We didn’t want kids. Than I met Cory in between the whole Jared/Kid fiasco and maybe it was Cory and the whole situation that I decided maybe I want a child.
Truth be told though – we’ve tried to get pregnant. And a year and a half later – there’s still no baby.
But the question still remains – do I want kids? Do I want to have a baby naturally, raise it, and devote every last breath to that child for the remainder of my life?
Would it even be fair to have a child?
Jar and I had our kids school picked out in Oro Valley. It was a private school because with him comes money and the thought of even having to worry where the kid would have went to school was not even a concern, but back to my point – we now have Common Core. Private schools don’t protect you from that.
The world is so different than it was back in 2007. Is it even right to bring a child into that?
I guess set all that aside though – all the bad in this world and all the bullshit and yes I want a kid.
I can’t promise you I’d be a good mother. They said it’s different with your own kid that even though you don’t do well around other children – you’d do great around your own.
So do I want a child? Yes.
But will it happen? … Well you’ll just have to wait till the end of After the Affair to find out – won’t you? : )
No Timothy Edwards – not everything you accused us of at the dinner that night was a lie …
Well hello blogging world! Long time no talk – well okay it’s only been a week but it feels longer. I should update more – I know.
Speaking of updates – I have finally started the Photo Gallery Section again. The Photo Gallery somewhere along the way got completely messed up. It had something to do with coding, outdated data, years of neglect, and well … the point being I have finally started to get it back up. All my photos are on facebook and I really don’t want to use Coppermine again (it’s what fucked me up the 1st time) and I hate Nextgen (why people swear by it is beyond me). So fuck it – I am just going to connect my Facebook (which is public btw – if you wish to follow my public updates go for it – or add me as a friend – I really don’t care. I have nothing to hide – I’m an open book remember?) Albums with my website. So that is what I am in the process of doing. One day all my photos – from when I was born in 1986 to today will be posted once again for the entire world to see. That is the goal anyway. I think this time though I’m going to leave out the nudity … I know – boring huh? : ) Except for the scandals Part 2 AOTM Photo Shoot – I think I’ll leave those up.
Speaking of AOTM Photo Shoot – I am almost done with Part 1 (almost) and have decided on a cover for the book. I need blood and a body bag and well of course someone to PUT in the body bag. Haha! As for the part 2 cover – what do u think about me, naked, behind a chair with an FBI jacket and in hand cuffs? Yeahhhhhhh – Part 2 is scandalous and I am so looking forward to writing it so the cover HAS to be scandalous. I have done a Part 2 Photo Shoot already with me semi-naked so fuck it – this time no top just me covered by a chair with an FBI jacket on it and in handcuffs. Haha! Yes, I know I am so living up to my critics interpretation of this blog being ‘provocative, profanity-laced and filled with sexual innuendos.’
Anyway so I have been up to a bunch of nothing lately. Just being lazy with the mutts.
We got Duncan a GPS Collar because I swear to God I am so flipping paranoid that he is somehow going to get out one day and then we’ll lose our baby. He is a really good dog but he’s too damn curious for his own good.
So we got him a collar that will alert us if he gets out and it follows him and it even gives his daily activity reading. He’s supposed to have a 375 but the dang mutt is so crazy in the head he gets over a 400. Haha! We are thinking of getting Charlie Brown one too not cause we’re afraid we’ll ever lose him but because we want to know how much activity he gets a day. The dang dog is still fat! I think he has lost some weight since we got him but he’s still fat.
So Cory and I are going to see Cory’s mother in Blue Springs, MO June 7th through the 14th. Yes people – a road trip to MO should be so much fun (sarcasm) and to top it off we are taking Duncan with us because I don’t trust anyone to watch him. Lol! He’s too crazy in the dang head! My parents will watch Charlie and Sue said she’d come check on the pigs for us. But yeah Duncan + Cory + a 20 hour car ride – oh this should be interesting.
Anyway, that really is all I have to update you all on.
The parents are coming over for Spaghetti Bread tomorrow night for Mother’s Day cause Cory works Sunday. But then I am going out with them Sunday to La Vita Dolce because they have Salmon Wellington in a Lobster Cream Sauce as a special. I don’t care if it’s $28! It’s so worth it!! It comes with a glass of champion, salad and a desert – so yeah I think the price is worth it. I am excited! I love anything wellington. Haha!
Anyway write more later.
I was thinking of bringing the Photo A Day back. Thoughts?
So we are almost all done unpacking! Only took us a month, but we finally got there.
Saturday we re-organized the shed. It was only 104 outside, but hey it had to be done. You can finally see the floor again … granted we still have stuff to go through and Cory needs to organize his blue drawers of tools, but at least now we know where stuff is. We found a lot going through that shed too that we either forgot about or couldn’t find – like we finally found our Rumba (the robot vacuum and all the batteries I swore we had but could never find. Lol!
The doggies thought we were crazy for being out there in the heat (we didn’t actually start on the shed until around 10am and didn’t finish until like 4pm – yes it was almost an all day process).
We went and got pizza at Papa Johns for dinner and stopped at Kmart and Safeway. We got more monkey towels to match our monkey theme. We actually we got palm tree towels and checked out to find out they were doing a 10% off purchase deal with your Kmart Rewards Card. So I went back and got the monkey towels cause it was a good deal. Those dang towels are expensive. $10 bucks a towel and then like $7 for the hand towel and did you know they don’t call a wash cloth a wash cloth anymore. It is now called a “finger towel” and they seem to have gotten bigger than your traditional wash cloths back in the day. Anyone else find that weird or am I just getting old? Lol!
Anyway Sunday I did laundry all day – yes laundry is an all day process. I do laundry once a week mostly. Usually on one of the weekends. I am glad I can do laundry though WHENEVER I want. It is so nice to have our own washer and dryer
Cory and I spent the day hanging pictures and getting the knick knacks put up. We just have a couple more pics to do, need to make a couple adjustments in the office and need to clean up the guest bedroom and we are done!! : ) Yeahhhh!!
Cory cooked breakfast for dinner on Sunday and we watched Once Upon a Time. Then he went to bed cause he works 5am-1pm so he always goes to bed around 8 now. I usually stay up till 10 but I stayed up till 1030 catching up on Secret Life of the American Teenager. I like that show but I am glad to see it end. After season 2 it just got kind of boring. I still watch it cause I want to know if Amy and Ricky will end up together at the end of the day, but it is time for it to end. And whatever happened to Ashley? I liked her character. I wish they would have kept her on the show.
So I got home from work on Friday to find a letter from the City of Lake Havasu. Now instead of sitting here and boring you all with the details of it – I’m just going to post it.
At least I changed City policy but note how they didn’t offer for my item to be re-heard (not sure it’s legal for them to but I do believe a council member could bring it back for reconsideration – at least u can at the County level) and as for them claiming to contact me – that’s complete bull shit. My Iphone and I are attached to each other at the hip (if an Iphone had a hip). If someone calls me – I know!! They didn’t try to contact me they’re just trying to cover their ass but hey at the end of the day at least I changed city policy … : ) Right?
You know I posted this exact letter on facebook on Friday night and one of my friends brought something to my attention that I had not thought of before and it is that if she were the City Clerk having to send this letter that she’d be rather embarrassed about it. Sad the council and Mayor cannot own up to their own responsibility in this and instead must throw the city clerk under the bus. ::tisk tisk:: So I do apologize to Ms. Williams – my posting of this is in no way reflecting on you doing your job wrong. You did nothing wrong. The mayor has his issues with me and unfortunately doesn’t have the guts to face me because if he did – I would have been notified.
But hey – at least I changed city policy for all FUTURE appointments.
And just a little FYI – it’s A Hall. Sarah A Hall – but u all knew that already, didn’t you?
Yesterday was Lake Havasu Republican Women’s Wine & Cheese event. It was some good times with some awesome food! I have to give credit to Gay Crews for hosting the event and for President Sue Donahue for putting it together (and for making the amazing cheesecake bites! Yum!! I’ll be making some and posting the recipe don’t you worry).
I don’t write much about my women’s club like I use too. You all remember the days of SarahAHall.Com (known as Sarahmarkham.com back then) where I would rant and rave about it (usually for dramatic, I dislike Ms. Fremont reasons). But the reason it doesn’t get too much front face on my blog now a days is simply because there’s nothing to say (except on meeting day when I go over who our speaker was) and that is a good thing.
We are moving to Shagrue’s next month on the first Tuesday of the month (at 11:30am in case you wish to come – cost is $16) which I am excited about!! Not to diss on the Quality Inn (okay it’s dissing on them – sorry no way around it) the food at Shagrues I am sure will be 100% better. Plus they have a bar there (not that I can drink and then go back to work but hey some people just tend to go where there is alcohol so maybe that means more members).
Anyway the Wine & Cheese was well attended (well somewhat not like the entire city of Lake Havasu came out and partied with us ladies (and men) but you get my point). It was a WINE & cheese event so obviously there was drinking. Hey no one said you can’t have Republican and Alcohol in the same sentence. There were some interesting characters there. I won’t name names – well I suppose I could make this said person a character in my story but then this said person would actually have to play some sort of role in my life which they don’t so therefor no need to give said person a character name – but interesting conversations were had which maybe I just shouldn’t go into. I mean Republicans are still suppose to be proper and conservative right (unless you’re me of course – I don’t really consider myself proper maybe stuck up but not proper).
Anyway I got home late last night to find my Kindle Fire had FINALLY arrived. We signed up for a bank promotion about 5 months ago to get a Kindle Fire HD for free. I’ll be doing a blog soon on the difference between Android and Apple and Kindle Fire vs Ipad. It should be an interesting blog if you care about that type of stuff.
Anyway I best be going now before I say stuff I shouldn’t … not like that EVER happens but hey you know me …
Oh and to just add to people’s confusion (not that anybody asked) but yes I do consider myself a lesbian – I’m just married to a guy. : )
I love confusing people with my sexuality …. haha!
I normally don’t DO Wordless Wednesday posts. Have you guys actually meet me? My blogs are filled with words and words and words … wordless is not in my blogging vocabulary Hence this blog already – filled with words … lol!
Anyway I shall try not to over word you today since it is Wordless Wednesday after all in blogging land. So here are the pictures thus far of our new place. We are SLOWLY getting there. Hopefully this weekend we get the knick knacks and pictures up because then we’ll be done … I think. : )
Anyway here’s our patio, shed and spa!!
Below is our new rug set in the living room/entry way and our new coat/hat rack
Next up is our bedroom, Cory’s pot shelf that is above our closet door and our closet organized
Below is the spare bedroom bed we got from my brother who said we couldn’t put our old headboard and footer on it and switch his headboard and footer with our bed. We managed to it just fine! : )
Next up is the kitchen with our new rug, knook, and my handy husband added two new shelves into my pantry
Last is our bathroom
The office is not photoed and neither is the guest bathroom – they are not done quite yet.
Anyway hope you enjoyed! We love the new place and so do the doggies!
So I don’t think I have mentioned yet on this blog what my latest critic had to say in regards to Sarahahall.Com
Yes, I have critics! I suppose you can’t have fans without having critics. Sarahahall.Com is not for everyone. You are all entitled to your opinion as am I.
But this one critic I happen to want to take his criticism as a complement more than as negative press. He said and I quote that my blog is “provacative, profanity-laced and filled with sexual innuendos.”
Yes, it is. I do not deny it and I kind of pride myself on it. It is NOT everyday that someone has the guts to write what I do and to do so in the manner that I do.
So I shall take your words as a complement Mr. Stevenson.
On a lighter note – one of my fans posted the following video to facebook today and said it reminded him of me. I felt flattered and loved!!
So Friday was the last day of the conference. I got up around 5am and met everyone in the lobby by 7am. The shuttle was on time this time. We got to the Peter Kiewit Institute way early. The conference didn’t even start till 8:30 that day but we were there a little after 7am.
I ate breakfast (they had croissant, muffins, fruit, etc out). I mingled with people and talked to a great lady named Kristen from the Center for Internet Security. She was the lady I spoke with prior to the conference to make sure I was all set up before arrival. She’s such a sweetheart. She helped arrange transportation for me back to the hotel since I had to leave the conference early that day to get to the airport for my flight back to Phoenix.
So the Conference started at 8:30am with opening remarks from NACo Executive Director Matthew Chase.
The key note speaker for the day was Jodi the Director of State & Local Government Marketing for AT&T, and the lady who I mentioned early sort of took me under her wing. She’s awesome and a she gave a great speech to us. She focused her speech on story telling. The point of her key note was to inform us at the symposium about going back and how to explain to people the importance of cyber security. She said the key is to move from information to conception. She said Cyber security needs to become a lifestyle with ever changing technologies. She also suggested partnering with your local FBI office and other resources to bring cyber security education to the county level. The way she gave the speech was fun, upbeat, and it kept your attention.
I was able to stay for Panel Number Six with focused on Cyber Security Exercises.
I was asked at the end by a friend of mine if the conference scared me at all or made me question the way I post my entire life online for the whole world to see. My response was no. While it may make me go and re-think my passwords, it did not scare me away from posting my entire life online. Like I have said – everything and everyone is hackable and the person who doesn’t post their entire life on the internet like myself is just as acceptable to attackers as I am.
One main theme I noticed at the conference was the difference between the younger generation and the older generation. I think the difference could for sure be seen in Panel #6.
The panel laid out some scenarios that may occur regarding cyber-attacks. They discussed throughout the conference that most attacks occur because a user is unaware. There are two types of users those that are unaware and the malicious user.
The unaware user is using malware on a daily basis they just don’t know it. Malware can be built into apps like bump. Android devices get malware when they use apps like bump. That employee than can go and plug their phone into the computer at work to simply charge it and will then release the malware into the counties computers.
The malicious user is the disgruntle employee who has access to sensitive documents and uses it in a malicious way.
The discussion went on to talk about County policies. Half the panel said that County policy should be that no usb devises are allowed at work and that all usb ports should be removed from county computers. Others felt that was taking it a step too far. One person mentioned that they let their employers go on facebook because that is the generation we have entering the workforce today. As a 26 year old, if you tell me I can’t take my Iphone into work – I highly doubt I’ll be working there long.
I think there needs to be a medium and some middle ground has to be found between the younger generation and the older generation when it comes to technology and policies at work. Luckily I work in a place where I am required to have access to social media so the topic has never been a concern to me. Should someone in the Assessor’s office be allowed the wide range of internet access as myself? No. I do research daily for my boss whereas the Assessor’s office is not going to be doing nearly what I do. However no matter what department you are in, policy regarding the internet and electronic devices needs to find some sort of middle ground.
The problem with cyber security and internet policies are the fact you have two completely different sets of people in the work force today. You have the younger generation (those my age and younger) who do their entire life on the internet and while yes they realize the risks at the end of the day they don’t care – internet is their life and then you have the older generation who may use the internet but doesn’t understand it the way the younger generation does and thinks us young folks are completely insane for posting all that we do online – and THAT is your problem! There has to be some sort of medium because (and I don’t mean to sound like an ass) my generation and those younger ARE your workforce and WILL take over – so you need to embrace the change and the technology and come up with policy surrounding it.
Anyway I left the conference around 11am. I did not stay for pane #7.
Britney came and picked me up around noon. She volunteered to take me to the airport so I could save tax payer money on a cab. : ) I love that girl! She drove me through town so I could see Omaha. Lookie they have grass! We went to Wendy’s for lunch. I said we had time for some fast food but of course I pick the one fast food place where it takes us like 10-15 minutes to order our food. The place was packed!! Lol! But anyway good times where still had like always.
Thanks again Britt for taking me back to the airport!! You are awesome! And thanks for the tour of Omaha.
So the Omaha airport is rather small compared to Phoenix Skyharbor. You can’t do check in via your mobile device. I had to go down to the hotel lobby and print my boarding pass. They don’t offer free wi-fi. They trick you and say they do but when you try to connect to it – it doesn’t work.
I did manage to stop at the gift shop and got some souvenirs to take back, but beyond that …. however I must ask – the airport doesn’t have Wifi, they don’t do mobile check in … yet they have a state of the art body scan? Very strange if you ask me.
Anyway the plane was on time
And the plane ride was good. I had no problem either time with the flight. It’s so cool flying into the clouds:
Anyway I got back to Phoenix around 3:40pm. I got my bags and called the Aloft to come pick me up and take me back to my car. By the time I left the Aloft in my car it was about 430. Rush hour traffic in Phoenix was happening but it wasn’t too bad. Only took me 30 minutes to get out of it.
I got home a little after 8. The doggies were very glad to see me:
And that people ends my Cyber Security Conference blog series.
So it’s been a week since I tried, attempted and failed at getting a hold of City Hall to get my question answered in regards to my denial of re-appointment to the Lake Havasu City Board of Adjustments. I suppose it is a mute point at this point in time; however, I’m Sarahahall.Com and NOTHING is EVER a mute point with me.
Honestly though if I have learned anything throughout this process it’s that sometimes first impressions are correct. I have heard through the grape vine horrible things regarding our City Mayor and Council. Now I have never sat down and had a heart to heart with Mr. Mayor, but after he decided he was going to tear me down without once contacting me, I have decided that first impressions sometimes are in deed true – he really is, as someone recently said to me, “a Napoleon douche.”
I doubt I will ever hear from the City on my denial of re-appointment. So I won’t hold my breath waiting for it.
So did this experience make me want to stay quit and keep my mouth shut because as Mr. Stevenson said “actions have consequences!”
In fact, I think I’ll be keeping a closer eye on City Business and making it my personal goal to write and blog about the city’s happenings and doings. I will be your watchdog Mr. Mayor. You can for sure count on that.
Alright fine!! Here it is folks – the blog you all have ACTUALLY been waiting for since Thursday night (no this isn’t about the “dinner conversations” – read Part 2 of the Reunion posted later this week for that! Now THAT will be controversy and drama time 1000x).
No this is the blog about having dinner with Cory’s cousin and his wife on Thursday night and having drinks with Britney and her wife afterwords.
So I found out Wednesday that Cory’s cousin Travis lived in Omaha. It’s funny I kept asking myself besides the Conference ‘what is there for me in Omaha, Nebraska.’ Well it turns out there was a lot more for more than I even knew.
Debi informed me that Travis lived there so I facebooked him to find out if he wanted to meet up. At first it was a no go because he had school and didn’t have a ride down to the hotel where I was. He was a good 20-30 minute ride away. But he facebooked me Thursday when I got out of the conference to let me know that his class was canceled and him and his girlfriend could come down and we could go to dinner at the Asian place across the street. So we did!
I got to met his girlfriend, Carrie. She’s awesome. They were really nice people. She works insurance and he is going to ITT Tech and they have a cat. : ) Gotta love cat people! Overall it was a nice dinner.
After dinner Britt texted me and wanted to know if 830 was okay to meet for drinks with her and Tempest, her wife. I said sure!! So they stopped by the hotel a little after 8:30pm and we sat in the bar and had drinks. She bought me three sex on the beaches (yeah I know that didn’t sound right did it? Eh!). They were small glasses though don’t worry. I know me + sex on the beach = not good but hey in small doses sex on the beach is okay (yeah I know again – why do they call it sex on the beach! They are just asking for dirty aren’t they?) Anyway I have never met her wife before but she was awesome!! I got to hear the story of little baby Robbie. That baby is adorable! I hope my kid is that cute one day. I am really happy for Britt. She seems happy and she’s going back to school to be a lawyer which is something I have always pictured her doing and am so glad to hear she’s going to pursue it.
Anyway you all remember Britt right? No one has ever taken the title away from her as being my Number 1 Fan. She is the one person I know who has read my entire blog archive from front to back. Yes, it will take a lot for anyone to ever come close to beating Britney as my Number 1 Fan. My blog archive dates from 1999 to today and so far she is the only person I know who can say they have read the entire Archive.
Anyway we sat there and reminisced on old times and got caught up on what was going on in all our lives currently. I found out that my old Teen Court Couch was the one who informed Britt I was gay back in the day. I never knew and I wanna know how he knew. Was it like this big rumor that circled around Lake Havasu High School? Hmmm … whatever! :p
But it was so nice to sit down and talk to them. I miss my gay gang. You know the gang of the old days when it was Robi and everyone at coffee night. I miss that. I wish I had known Council Bluffs, Iowa was RIGHT BY Omaha. I would have gotten with them earlier. I didn’t even think Iowa … Nebraska … lol!
Anyway good times were had!!
And can you believe I sat there the entire night and said – I need a picture of you two and DID NOT get a pic!
So I am stealing one from their facebook so you can all see who I speak of. They can sue me if they want! : )
Anyway Thursday was a long ass day!! When I got back to the hotel room at like 10:30pm I got the messages saying Mr. Stevenson had posted the news story with me in it on the Folks Site.
In other words I didn’t get to bed until around midnight and was back up by 5am on Friday morning
But despite the fact, I had an awesome day on Thursday.
“You never did tell me how you got your FBI clearance back,” I said as he walked me through security at the Phoenix Skyharbor airport. “The last time I checked the FBI fired you for your involvement in the illegal drug trade and illegal activities involving the in vitro fertilization of our child.”
“That is very true Ms. Mathews. They did fire me,” he smiled.
“So please enlighten me Mr. Lenox how did you get your job back again? I didn’t realize the FBI re-hired criminals.”
“Oh Ms. Mathews,” he laughed. “The FBI and federal government do a lot of things they don’t want normal citizens like yourself to know. I am the best computer hacker they have ever had. So you tell me Ms. Mathews, what’s worse – risking the cyber security of the Unites States of America? Or firing a drug dealer who illegal went through in vitro fertilization to have a child with his husband?”
- After the Affair (This was just to get your attention!! The rest of this blog is just about my day at the conference not about my book)
So Thursday was the Cyber Security Conference!! I got up at 4:45 a.m. to make sure I was down in the lobby by 645am. The first shuttle was supposed to leave then. When I arrived in the lobby there were a few people standing around. One lady had a Cyber Security Box in her hand. So I knew she was going to the same conference as I was. So I went up and introduced myself. Yes people – I know! Shy, sweet, innocent Sarah who NEVER does that – went up and introduced herself to a complete stranger. Shocking I know!! : ) Like I always say – I play different roles. Today I decided to be the open, out there, hi my name is Sarah – type of person.
Anyway I met some cool people at this conference. There was this girl named Jodi who kind of took me under her wing since it was my first conference and all. There was this whole team of people there from AT&T. They partner with NACo (National Association of Counties) to do the Cyber Security and Jodi was with AT&T. She was one of the key note speakers on Friday.
Anyway by 7pm there was about 10 of us in the lobby waiting for the shuttle which was late. There was some confusion of which shuttle we were taking over to the Peter Kiewit Institute at the University of Nebraska. That was were the conference was being held and it was like a five minute drive from the hotel. Some of us thought the hotel would be providing shuttles, but I guess it was the actual University that was providing them. However they went to the OTHER Double Tree in town thinking we were all over there. Needless to say, the shuttles ended up picking us up at 715am instead.
But we got there in time to eat breakfast and have a little social hour. Jodi introduced me to the rest of her AT&T team. I got to meet the Recorder from Maricopa County and some people from USSSTRATCOM.
The conference itself started at 8am with opening remarks from Dr. Mike McGinnis who is the Executive Director of the Peter Kiewit Institute.
Next the Honorable Chris Rodgers (NACo President & Commission of Douglas County) spoke as did The Honorable Mary Ann Borgeson who is the Chair of the NACo Cyber Security Task Force and also a Commission of Douglas County.
We got to watch a video from Secretary Janet Napolitano from Homeland Security on Cyber Security and the importance it plays in our everyday lives.
Our Key Note speaker for the day was Cheri Caddy who is the Director of the Cyber Policy Integration & Outreach National Security Staff for the Executive Office of the President. She spoke for about 30 minutes on the threats that face our nation in regards to cyber security. She said the ‘new normal’ of our society today is that cyber security is a national threat. With the increase use of technology in today’s world cyber security is not something that is going to go away anytime soon. She said on average the number of Denial of Service attacks that threat our nation each second is about 300mb.
She mentioned an interesting question that many I don’t think ask when it comes to the internet and that is who’s responsible for cyber security? When a physical crime is committed it’s usually obvious what jurisdiction it falls under but when a crime happens on the world wide web those responsibilities are not black and white. There are no boarders when it comes to the internet. Where do the boarders of the United States start and end? The answer is not a simple one. Cheri feels that the Federal Government needs to help the local government when it comes to cyber security and cyber attacks. She also feels on behalf of the White House that the federal government needs to work with the private sector to make broad policies to protect our infrastructures.
Everything is electronic these days – if the terrorists were to go after our electric grid they could shut down the United States. Can you image doing your job without the internet, without electricity? We relay so much on the internet and electricity today that even if it’s down for an hour I’m not sure we would know what to do with ourselves. I remember when my internet went down at work for four hours one day. I was at a lost. Everything I do is connected some how to an internet connection – even the phone lines ironically. I do believe I cleaned the office windows and dusted my desk off that day.
She suggested that local government should develop a disaster plan in regards to cyber security just like they do plans in regards to flood control, tornadoes (well except our County – we don’t get tornadoes), and national disasters.
She briefly mentioned the President’s Executive Order he released a few months ago. Have you heard about this executive order? It’s funny really. So this order is suppose to help the communication between agencies within the Federal government, local government and the private sector to better prepare for a cyber security disaster. Yet the Executive Order cannot force that communication. That must be done through legislation that probably won’t ever pass. So the President puts out an Executive Order pretty much saying ‘talk! Well I mean you don’t have too but it’d be nice.’ And guess what will happen Mr. President? Nothing!! Of course that’s just my 2 cents.
Anyway so from 9-10am we had our first panel! So what is a panel you ask? Yeah I asked the same question. A panel is where 3-4 people get up there and usually give you a brief overview of what they do. Then you ask questions and they answer.
So Panel 1: Operating in Today’s Cyber Environment: What is the threat?
A special agent from the Omaha FBI Cyber Taskforce answered it by saying the threat is #1 - foreign intelligent intrusions #2 – terrorists and #3 – organized crime. The panel also mentioned the importance of knowing what you need to protect from data, networks, government contracts, etc etc.
An interesting tid bit I got from the panel is passwords. I did not know that it’s all about password phrases now. Yes, people should use whole sentences instead of just a password. It’s more secure. I never knew that. Very interesting!
Next we had Panel #2 – What Critical Information/Infrastructural needs to be protected at the County Level?
This focused on all the regulated data and steps that can be taken to see that it’s protected. Like Human resource information, health records, credit card information, etc etc.
The last panel before lunch #3 was about – What can Counties do to enhance their information assurance capabilities?
Did you know you should change your password every 90 days, don’t use the same password for work as you do home, don’t use thumb drives – they are bad (I never knew the dangers of thumb drives until this conference. I don’t use them anymore. I use the cloud so no need to carry a thumb drive around with me when all I need to do is log in to the cloud), and don’t use password storing software.
Speaking of THE CLOUD – I think everyone seemed to grasp the concept (well most anyway) that it is all going to the Cloud now. I give it five years – it won’t be about harrddrives anymore and having a 200tb harddrive. You will still have harddrive space for the basics and software but documents, photos, videos, etc will be stored on a cloud. That’s what it’s going to. So they did touch a bit on securing the cloud. Basically it all comes down to the contract and who you would contract with to offer cloud based services within your organization.
Before lunchtime the Governor of Nebraska, Dave Heineman, spoke to us. He basically went over his background with cyber security and the importance of it. He made some good points. I think it’s a point everyone was making and a point most people get – we are not going back. Technology is here and we have to secure it.
Next we had our lunch!!! We were suppose to eat out in the ‘tent’ but by 1pm it was snowing outside. Not enough to stick or to even be noticeable in my photo but it was snowing and it was cold. So they moved it all inside.
Anyway they had a pretty good lunch for us – chicken parmesan, potatoes, salad, a roll and brownies and cookies for desert. It was good! I sat with some folks from the County of Omaha. One was a commissioner, one was the chief IT person, another was from the utilities company and the other guy wasn’t from Omaha but from a County near by in Nebraska.
I was talking to one gentleman about Windows 8. I have come to the conclusion that only the younger generation appreciates the wonders and joys of Windows 8. It’s all about Apps. It’s all going to Apps. And people need to get use to it! Apps are awesome!! Windows 8 is awesome!
Anyway after lunch Will Pelgrin, President & CEO for the Internet Security Center spoke as another key note. He started off his speech with a little scary thought. He said it has been documented knowledge that attackers have already gained access to our infrastructures. Well now that’s a little scary. It’s called an Advanced Persistence Threat – where the attackers have already gotten in and have decided to stay for a little while. They are hard to find because they don’t let you know they are there. They stay in your network system sometimes for months or years without making themselves known all the while they are gathering information about you and your organization. Scary huh?
Next up we had Panel #4 – What does Cyber Legislative Policy landscape look like at the federal, state and local level and what is the role of counties?
I have to say this was one of my favorite panels! Why? Because Jack Beard from the University of Nebraska was hilarious. He pretty much got up there and said it like it is – the federal government is not going to help you. The House the same day as the Conference passed Federal Legislation regarding cyber security. He said how the same thing happened last year and then it failed in the Senate which he said will happen again. He said the legislation is all about sharing info he was frank about it when he said the government doesn’t want to share info. He then went on to say that even if the government did help it would be bad.
There was a gentleman from USSSTRATCOM arguing with him. They had total opposite opinions and they were funny about them. It was one of my favorite panels simply because of the humor of it.
Lastly we had Panel #5 – National Cyber Workforce Training & Education Landscape Overview.
Basically this one was about jobs within the Cyber Security field and programs to help college students who want to pursue the career.
And that ended Day #1 of the Conference.
They had a Reception afterwords that lasted from 5-6pm. You had the option of leaving or staying for drinks and social hour. You all will be proud of me – I stayed and had a drink and talked to people. I know! Ironic huh?
I’ll tie the conversations had during drinks to tomorrow’s blog about Day #2 of the Conference. They go together.
For now though I end this! I’m doing a separate write up on what happened AFTER the conference. This blog is already too long.
Hope you enjoyed and I didn’t bore you too much! : )
So let’s see who all pays attention to my blog because if you know me and you can decode this – you SHOULD be up in arms about it.
So I had dinner with Jackson and her wife on Thursday night (you know – Christina Jackson but everyone always calls her Jackson – inside joke) . Anyway I’ll write about the dinner and all my happenings in Omaha in another blog post. This post is dedicated to something she informed me of during our dinner conversation.
So I always knew there was SOMETHING between Joey Scott and Josh Randolph. Josh was way too guilty after Joey died. He acted like he had a secret to hide and to this day he still does. But what that secret was, I could never figure it out. I had my speculations: a love affair, HIV, HPV, drugs, sex … oh yes I had my speculations. In fact a whole blog was once written around the topic of HIV, sex and a love affair. Like most of my Affair of the Mind stories that for all intentional purposes should have been something I just made up off the top of my head – the story of Josh Randolph and Joey Scott was really NOT that far from the truth.
I spent almost the entire ride back home to Lakeworth Friday afternoon on the phone with Justin crying. It hit me as the plane landed down at the Phoenix Skyharbor Airport that the words I had written on Facebook the night prior were far too true. I wrote Thursday night on facebook the following: I am the most open person you will ever meet – my entire life is posted on the internet for the entire world to see and read and I won’t ever change – however the minute I put a face to the name Justin Lenox is the minute my story becomes a reality which is why you will never see photos, videos or any other media related to the four main characters of Affair of the Mind – it doesn’t mean they aren’t real and it doesn’t mean my story isn’t true – but I love Justin Lenox and despite what ANY of you think or say – I may write the story but I won’t put him in jail. The photos, the videos and the truth will be released on the day the last one of us dies – it’s called loyalty and love and think what u want of me but I will always love Justin Lenox and I will always protect him despite if that makes me a bad person or not
What I didn’t realize when I posted it was that I chose Justin over Joey Scott, and even after what Jackson told me Thursday night it didn’t hit me until the plane landed in Phoenix that I am just as guilty as Josh over the death of Joey Scott.
I know – Joey died of complications related to a disease many said was inherited And maybe that’s true, but I will NEVER stop feeling guilty over his death as I am sure neither will Josh.
Jackson told me that Joey was in love with his best friend. They had many sexual encounters and Josh always told him he loved him and wanted to be with him … and this was all before Kristopher Hall came into the picture. I knew Joey loved him. I didn’t know that back in 2006 but I knew that the day I asked Joey about him back in 09. What I didn’t know was the extent of their relationship. Joey wouldn’t tell me, and now I know why.
I asked Justin if I hadn’t of moved to Tucson in 2005 if I could have saved him. Was it the drugs that lead to his disease? Was it his undying love for Josh Randolph that destroyed the man I once knew, admired and loved? Had I NOT left would he still be alive? Justin’s reply was – I will never know and I can’t live my entire life wondering what if.
But I chose Justin over Joey and when asked if I could go back and save Joey over Justin – would I? If I could go back, knowing that he would still be alive today but Justin would end up in prison – would I have saved him instead of Justin Lenox?
I can’t answer that.
I need a reason. I have needed a reason since the day Joey died. I have needed a reason of WHY! I thought Kris was my reason. Had I never met Justin, I never would have fallen in love with Kris because I never would have emerged myself in the gay community of Lakeworth, Arizona. But Kris isn’t it. Joey loved Josh way before Kris came along.
I need my reason back. I need to know why I keep choosing him over everyone else.
So is our agreement the reason? Is Lambert Robi Elliot the reason why?
I hope so because I cannot live with myself knowing had I chose a different path Joey would still be alive. So if Lambert isn’t our reason … than you tell me – how does After the Affair end?
So remember when I said it was a reporter who contacted me regarding my Board of Adjustments re-appointment last week? Well I told the reporter I was out of town and couldn’t do the face to face interview he wanted to do. Timing was bad because the day he asked me was the day I left town for the week. So anyway I never heard back from him and I thought he decided not to do the story.
I mean honestly let’s just be frank – if the Mayor and City Council don’t want me on their board than that’s fine. It is THEIR board. If they have an issue with my personal political opinions and this blog, that’s their own personal problem. But anyway to my surprise last night I learned he did in deed run the story and our favorite character “Mr. Stevenson” (yes I put everybody in character mode so don’t feel too extra special) decided to go on our favorite Mohave Folks Facebook page and write about it.
Here’s the video and story that was done on it:
Everything Jim said was true. So I have no issue with the video or story that he ran. The issue I have is with Mr. Stevenson who is trying to somehow tie my resignation from the County IDA Board a while back to the City Board of Adjustments. He does realize they are TWO different government entities right and have nothing to do with eachother. If anyone cares to know why I resigned from the IDA here it is: 1) they never met 2) if they did ever met it was in Kingman and 3) at the time I was going to school, my mom was just diagnosed with cancer, and between all that my person life and job – I didn’t have time to go to Kingman if they EVER did decide to meet. So I resigned. The City board met here in Havasu. Not an issue. Why Mr. Stevenson makes issues out of non-issues is beyond me.
In fact, and I REALLY REALLY hate to admit this – he reminds me a lot of my high school self. I never thought in a million years I would find someone more dramatic than me. I mean come on – Britt just told me last night I held the drama title (I mean who else can come up with Affair of the Mind) but after reading some of what Mr. Stevenson says, I think I have met my match.
Anyway I have 20,000 things to say about my day yesterday. It was a “WOW” kind of day and I will write all the lovely, dramatic details later. As for right now – I have to get ready for Conference Day #2, Britt is picking me up at noon to take me to the airport, and I am flying back to lovely Arizona.
So yesterday I left Havasu for Phoenix to fly to Omaha today for NACO’s Cyber Security Conference. So far it has been an exciting, interesting trip!!
Like all trips – they get documented within the walls of this here blog. So here’s a run down of my Cyber Security Trip so far.
Day 1: Tuesday, April 16th, 2013: Well I didn’t leave Havasu when I wanted. I blame Cory. : ) Actually it was more or less my fault. I had 20,000 things to do before I left. Finish packing, get the house in order, get my hair cut, go to Wal-Mart, etc etc. Yeah I know – craziness!! BUT I managed to get into Phoenix before dinner time which is all that truly mattered.
So the County put me up at the Aloft for the night. I have to say the Aloft is now my new favorite hotel. It was awesome! Amazing!! Let me just post the pics and you can all see how cool it is:
It had such a modern elegance to it. I loved it! FYI – the picture of darkness with some blue in it is the inside of the elevator. I know it looks like the inside of a night club in downtown Las Vegas huh? And I have to say – the hotel bed was so comfy!! I haven’t slept on a more comfortable hotel bed in forever. I have to give the Aloft an A+++.
Anyway so Day 2 of my Trip which is today was spent mostly at Airports. I got up at 4am and got ready. I took a shower in the huge ass shower and then went down for breakfast. No Continental free breakfast but whatever – it was good. I had a sausage egg croissant sandwich that they make right there for you.
The shuttle to the airport left at 630am. I arrived at the airport like five minutes later. I had already done web check in so all I had to do was take my bag to baggage area. Then I went and stood in line for security to get past the gates. My plane was taking off from Gate A17. The line for security was rather long. I had to take my shoes off to go through security but other than that it wasn’t a big deal.
After all was said and done it was a quarter to 8 and my plane didn’t leave till 9am. Why you have to be there 2 hours early is beyond me but I suppose rather safe than sorry. The plane started boarding about 830am and it was about 845 when I sat down in my seat.
I haven’t been on a plane since 2003 (at least that I can recall anyway) when the family went to Illinois for a week. A lot has changed since then. Back in 2003, there was no facebook, Iphone, or Ipads. I found myself asking – can I use my Ipad on the plane? I had all my books on my Ipad! I don’t DO books!! Cory said to put it in Airplane mode and it’d be ok. Well I had to Google to see what Airplane mode meant. Lol! In the end, I was able to use my Ipad to read my book. They even have internet on the plane (as lone as u pay $14.95 though). Haha! Yeah no thank u! I just read my book – no internet required. Lol!
Anyway the plane ride to Omaha was a little under 3 hours. It was a smooth ride until the end because it was raining in Omaha. But it wasn’t too bad. A little turbulence here and there. When we landed it was about forty degree outside, raining and low visibility with an overcast. Brrrr!!
This was the first thing I saw when I exited the plane in Omaha - I know – just my luck huh? lol!
So I went and got my bags and then I decided to grab a bit to eat before I headed to the hotel. They had a food court at the airport with a Taco Bell. It was cheap and yummy!
Then I went and got a taxi to take me to the hotel. Damn taxi cost like $35!!! Im NOT kidding!! It was a good 20-30 minutes from the airport to the hotel. Crazyness! I don’t think I’ve ever spent $35 on a taxi before!
Anyway so I am staying at the Double Tree Hilton in downtown Omaha. It’s a nice hotel!! It’s big and the room is huge!! It has it’s own living room area and a kitchen along with an office area and the bed
Although it’s bigger than the Aloft I still like the Aloft better!! It was all about the Aloft’s bathroom! I mean three people could shower in the Aloft’s shower. It was awesome! Besides the Aloft has free wifi too!! Dang Hilton wants to charge you $9.99!! Thankfully AT&T has free Wifi for my phone and then I just tether the internet from there to my laptop. Im not paying $9.99 even if it is County money. Wifi should be free in hotels!! That’s my opinion!!
Anyway so there was suppose to be this Icebreaker thing tonight at the hotel for the NACo participants but no one was there. So I don’t know what happened. I went to the restaurant and ordered Salmon and a pina colada.
The hotel has a beautiful Atrium. It’s peaceful to sit down there and relax
Anyway that has been my trip thus far (minus the dinner Friday night – that’s a whole blog and story in and of itself).
The conference starts tomorrow at 7am!! I am excited!!